Having children changes everything in life. Some things we can easily prepare ourselves for like the early mornings and diaper changes, but some things you don't even realize will change. Like showering. The ability to take long, hot, showers on a whim anytime of the day disappears for most moms. Not only does the physical aspect change, but so do the thoughts that come and go while in the shower. Gone are the days when I had philosophical thoughts and solutions for many of life's greatest problems while in the shower. Now, I have thoughts that are less deep and much more practical, and guess what? I know I am not the only one who thinks about these things. Whether it is an evening or weekend shower when daddy is home to occupy the small people during that time, or the famous "Mom Super Shower" in which I do everything at warp speed to finish showering, dressing, hair, and makeup during the 30 minutes of zombie toddler provided by PAW Patrol I think about mostly the same things. Here they are.
1. There's P on my foot
When I shower in the morning or after going to the gym, it usually happens while my small people are awake. On a good day I coordinate this time with the airing of PAW Patrol (thanks, NickJr for that wonderful cinematic masterpiece). This also means I sacrifice showering in our master bathroom adult-only shower and jump into the shower/tub combo in our other bathroom. This tub is reserved for our son's bath, and like any toddler he has a multitude of bath toys. I only have 30 min. to get the whole routine finished, so if there is a bath toy letter in tub from the previous evening's tub time, it's just going to have to stay there. I can't tell you how many times I have looked down to find "P" stuck to my foot.
2. Showering so quickly has to decrease our water bill
As if thinking about bills isn't constant enough, I even think about them in the shower these days. Mostly out of pride. With as quickly as I shower while the small people are awake, I can't help but pat myself on the back for the money I am saving us on water usage. So, really that's a big wine....I mean win. The more money I don't spend on the water bill means a larger wine budget, right?
3. Did my child just cry/vomit/choke/scream
The phantom sounds. I swear every shower I can hear a child crying, puking, or screaming. It's almost always false except for a few tears here and there. It's easy with our baby, she mostly just swings away while I take my super fast shower, however, the toddler is another story. Typically he happily watches PAW Patrol while I lather and rinse, but there are also times he does everything but what he is supposed to do. A huge thanks to the inventor of baby proofing equipment.
4. How important is it that I shave today?
We've all been there. It's summer in Missouri which means its HOT. With heat comes shorts, dresses, skirts, and capris. The negative side effect is that I have to shave my legs at least periodically to be socially acceptable in public. Almost every shower I ask myself if my leg hair is THAT noticeable and nearly every time I conclude that I can go "one more day."
5. WTF?!
You know that moment. When you're in the middle of washing your hair and suddenly the water becomes scolding hot and you are just SURE that your skin is going to burn off your body. Then, you look out the shower curtain through the blue smiling octopus to discover that your toddler is lovingly flushing the toilet. Repeatedly. And laughing at your pain each time. There are no words for these moments, just know you are not alone!
Mom showers are fast, cluttered with bath toys, and usually bare minimum. Wash the hair, wash the body and face, and sometimes brush your teeth if you are really in a time crunch. Sometimes I even condition! Sometimes I wash my hair in cold water as recommended by my stylist because it is better for my hair. And sometimes I can get really wild and crazy and shave my legs. Most days, as long as my hair, pits, feet, and butt are washed I am a thankful and happy person. But really. Sometimes you just need a few minutes of along time among the chaos that is every day life with small children. The shower provides that for me. It literally drowns out the chaos for just about 5 min., and in those 5 min I can regenerate and be ready to keep on going with the little people. Plus, also I don't smell like a foot so you're welcome.
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