Candy Cane Blues: The Trials of an Allergy Mom

  Having kids is never easy.  I can think of at least a billion things that haven't gone as planned so far in my parenting journey, like the tantrums or the refusal to use a toilet.  What I didn't plan for was a child with a severe allergy/intolerance to dyes and artificial sweeteners.  This has become especially tough as the season for sweets and candy is upon us.

Having a child with any type of allergy is hard, I know because I not only mother a child with an issue but have many allergy issues with foods as well as Celiac's Disease, so I am no knew hand at special dietary needs.  What I am new to is deciding just what our son can and cannot have; usually discovering the cannots when it's too late.  Like today.  Today he woke up happy and playful (at a ridiculously early hour per usual).  We began to get ready for a big day of special Max time on the 1880s Santa Claus Express--a North Pole themed ride on the 1880s train in Hill City, SD.  Then it happened.  He was throwing up.  Then the guessing game begins.  Is it the stomach flu?  Did he eat something inedible?  Was the milk bad?  Oh, wait.  There it is.  That candy cane he had yesterday? Red Dye 40, one of the biggest culprits of his allergy issues.  Coupled with a chocolate Santa containing an artificial sweetener.  Let me just say, Splenda is not our friend.  The worst part?  I thought they were ok.  I know, I know "you didn't know those would bother him!" but that doesn't make it easier to see a child, MY child, sick when it could have been prevented.  Trial and error is not the way to learn, but sadly, it's been how we have to figure this out for him.

Candy canes are a no go for my sweetener and dye sensitive three year old.  Do you know how hard that is for him to understand?  It's hard.  He thankfully is a very understanding little guy; he knows that "that gunna get my tummy sick, mom!" and that's the end of it.  But it's still hard for a little guy to understand.  It's hard when the other kids get candies he can't have.  It's hard when he is given a candy that I have to take away from him.  It's hard when people make fun of parents like me.

I know it's hard to understand allergies or having a child with allergies if it is not something that is a part of life for all.  I worry about school days and how that bridge can be crossed as smoothly as possible.  I am thankful for the friend(s) I have who willingly watches my kids and who genuinely monitor and care about what Max can and cannot eat.  I am thankful his condition is not worse and that we are learning how to work around it.  That doesn't make those few aside comments hurt any less.

From our experience, I have learned some valuable things.  Firstly, I understand how lacking our food system is at explicit labeling of ingredients after having to painstakingly search for in depth ingredient lists for every candy in his Halloween bag, parade candy, or newly candy canes.  This is something I would love to see improved in our future and it is 100% possible if we voice our concerns.  Secondly, I learned that its just not ok to poke fun at eating problems or tease parents for how they feed their children.  This was not something I had done in the past, but I do admit there were times I would chuckle to myself grocery shopping and seeing all the "Organic" and "All Natural" selections that were obviously so without need for additional labeling.  But I get it now.  It is comforting to know that there are products out there I can buy without having to look up ingredients on my cell phone in the grocery store.  It's nice to have that small bit of normalcy while shopping.

Bottom line: if a parent chooses to go gluten free, dairy free, nut free, preservative free, sweetener free, vegan, all meats, vegetarian, feed the child fast food daily, eat deli meats, buy candy bars, buy only fruit, or any other eating choice it's their choice and only their choice and that mom probably doesn't need your input.  Don't tell her she eats weird.  Don't tell her her children eat weird.  Don't poke fun at things like celebrations and birthday parties that she worked damn hard to make sure her child wasn't sick the next day because of food choices.  We don't know everyone's reasons and we don't need to to just be good and understanding people.  I just laugh it off when people poke fun at how my son eats or think I am "weird" or "mean" or "a hippie" for making sure my child's sweets are real ingredients only.  At the end of the day, I'm the one caring for and cleaning up after a sick child who could have had a lot of avoided discomfort and I love that I can help prevent that from happening.  Besides, eliminating dyes and artificial sweeteners doesn't mean my child eats organic, healthy, wonderful, wholesome meals daily.  The kid had a hotdog for breakfast.  It's all about balance.  

The Best Kid-Friendly Christmas Movies That Won't Drive You Nuts!

As Christmas approaches, I have noticed that literally every.single.kids.show has a Christmas special of some sort.  There's PAW Patrol "The Pups Save Christmas!", LEGO "Frozen: See the Northern Lights", "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Christmas", and countless others.  I'm confident that at least 99% of children's TV shows have a Christmas, or (if we are being politically correct) Holiday Special of some sort.  These newer specials are all good and fine, I like PAW Patrol just as much as the next person over 10 years of age, but let's be honest.  None of these specials hold a card to the classic Christmas movies out there!  I love a good holiday special, but some movies just never get old!  Here are the best kid-friendly Christmas movies that won't drive you completely insane.

1. Elf
I love "Elf."  I mean, this may be one of the best Christmas movies EVER MADE.  This is not just because I am a huge fan of Will Farrell comedies, it is just that funny.  Light enough for kids but with enough subtle adult humor to keep adults entertained through the whole movie.  The movie is rated PG by the MPAA for the subtle adult humor.  I personally appreciate the light-heartedness, humor, positive message, and that the movie does not contain bad language.  Win for kids, win for moms!

2. How the Grinch Stole Christmas
All versions of "The Grinch" are awesome.  For smaller kids, the 1966 animated version is a big hit!  Vibrant colors, good time length, and an easy-to-understand message for kiddos.  Also knows as "Dr. Suess's How the Grinch Stole Christmas" the film is 26 minutes long (score for toddler moms!) and is rated PG for....Who knows I would call it a G, but I don't work for the MPAA.  For adults and older kids, ages 8+ the Jim Carrey version is also great!  The content is the same, story goes a bit deeper with the same good lesson to be learned, and provides a great platform for discussing what is really important during Christmas time for kids who are old enough to pick out that level on content.  This film is also rated PG and is still a go-to for me every single Christmas!

3. The Santa Claus
Who doesn't like Tim Allen in "The Santa Claus"?!  This has to easily be one of my absolute favorite Christmas films.  I know, I say that a lot.  It is such a cute and funny story!  Kids loving seeing how the modern Santa came to be, and Tim Allen provides clean, fun humor for parents as well.  Also, I would say the sequels are honestly pretty good too.  That is not something I say about every movie with a sequel--in fact, I often think the sequels are terrible.  So, good job to the writers here!  Great story lines on all three movies.  This movie, and all sequels, are rated PG by the MPAA.

4. Anything Frosty or Rudolph Clay-mation 
There are so many of these to pick just one!  The ratings rage from G to PG depending on the films, but I love them all!  Rudolph rescues the New Year's baby whose parents just let a baby escape, The one with Jack Frost, just all of them.  Watch ALL THE MOVIES in this genre? Line? Series?  I don't know what to refer to it as exactly, but moms: you know what I mean.  Don't deprive your kids of our childhood loves.  Or, in my case, force your child to watch it because it is just that great!



5. It's Christmas, Charlie Brown
It just wouldn't be a holiday in America without a Charlie Brown special.  This just so happens to be my favorite Charlie Brown.  There just isn't anything more wholesome than anything with good ol' Charlie Brown.  The whole film is cute, heartwarming, and filled with great, positive, messages for kids.  There isn't much more to say about it, but any holiday just isn't the same without Charlie Brown, Linus, Lucy, PigPen, and the rest of the gang!  Te production is rated G by the MPAA.

These are just my top five favorites, but there are so many more great Christmas movies that the entire family will enjoy including "The Polar Express," "A Christmas Story," "Christmas Vacation," "Christmas with the Cranks," "Prancer," "Annabelle's Wish," "It's a Wonderful Life," and the Disney version of "A Christmas Carol."  The Mediocre Daddy would be forlorn if I did not include his favorite Christmas movie, "Die Hard" in the mix.  the jury is still out on that one.  I say because the setting happens to be on Christmas, does not necessarily make it a shoe-in as a Christmas Movie, he disagrees.  Bottom line, no matter what film you chose, whether you own it or come across it on television, Netflix, or Hulu, or even YouTube it (we ALL know someone has posted low-quality versions filming the TV from a cell phone camera for others to enjoy) the point is to do something special with your family this season, and curling up with a family-friendly Christmas movie is just the ticket on these cold wintery days!  

Seven Things to Never Get Mom for Christmas

As Christmas time approaches, I know the husbands and children are racking their brains of ideas for what to get mom for Christmas this year.  I can only speak for myself of course, but I know I'm hard to buy for.  I NEVER know what to tell my husband I want, but I know what I, and other moms, don't want for Christmas.  Trust me.  I surveyed people on this one.  As you shop for your wife or mother this season remember this list of the things no mother wants for Christmas.

1. Tupperware 
Just because she says her Tupperware is mismatched is not your cue to purchase this as a gift.  Love is not expressed through food storage units.  Trust me when I say we can purchase our own food storage products, and in reality we probably want to.  I don't care if it is fancy, glass Pyrex or the leak-proof Rubbermaid (ok, both of those are awesome, trust me) we don't want to open this on Christmas day.  Our Tupperware can go another day without the proper lid.

2. Vacuums
Nothing sucks as much as a vacuum for Christmas--see what I did there?  But seriously.  If the gift says "I'm here for you to clean the house, mom!"  We don't want it.  Unless it's a Dyson.  Everyone loves a Dyson.  But, in all seriousness a vacuum is another thing I just need to pick out myself.  Sure, a new vacuum is relatively exciting, but half the excitement is choosing the thing.  Is if good for pet hair?  How easy can I clean it? Can it suck up a goldfish cracker whole?  Is it too loud?  How long is the cord?  These are all things I must ask myself while shopping for my vacuum soul-mate that my husband may not think of in the moment.

3. Clothes in the Wrong Size
Clothes are really tough.  If you know your wife or mother's size to a T, then go for it!  I love getting clothes for a special occasion.  What I do not love is when they are completely the wrong size.  Although it is flattering that my family thinks I am a size small, it is not so flattering when I put that item on.  If you aren't sure if you are looking at me or a stuffed sausage, it goes directly to my "never leave the house, even to get the mail" area of my closet.  It's also not going to make her feel great if the clothes are quite a few sizes to large.  If she loves clothes like me, may a suggest a gift card to her favorite store?  That way you are giving her the gift of a shopping experience (and watch the children for goodness sakes) and ensure the clothes will be the right size.  Win-win.

4. Puppies
Puppies are super cute when they belong to someone else.  If her heart is set on a puppy, go for it.  If she has expressed zero interest in a pet, besides saying a certain breed of puppy is "really cute" do not assume she wants it for Christmas.  The gift of a puppy is the gift of more chores, more cleaning, more worry, even less free time than moms already have, and added things to do everyday.  It's almost like adding another child. Almost.  May I suggest a puppy calendar instead?

5. Terrible Perfume 
Perfume is a hard sell.  When I was about eight, I got my mom a perfume set and I was so proud of myself.  The problem was that the perfume smelled horrible.  It was just awful.  If the nasty smell wasn't enough to make this the worst gift I ever gave my mom, the fact I was very allergic to it just added to its terrible nature.  Or, maybe the allergy was a blessing.  Then my mom had a good excuse to never wear that nasty stuff. It had to be formulated by the devil himself.

6. Nothing
Frankly, I don't care what your excuse is, get her something!  No, a card does not count.  The fact is, moms do everything all day long for everyone and they deserve some type of thanks during the holidays.  I mean, getting a tupperware set is better than getting her nothing--not much better, but it is better.  Trust me when I say all mothers say they want nothing for Christmas or that we don't know what we want because in all the things we do in a day, thinking about what we would like to receive for a gift is one of the last things on our minds.  Find a nice surprise!  Talk to her friends.  Chances are they probably know what extras she would like.  If you can't think of anything, jewelry, wine, and chocolate are always safe options. So is a pedicure.

7.  A Positive Pregnancy Test
When this answer came up in my survey, it won the internet.  We all love our babies more than anything, and for those who are trying for a first or for more this would be the absolute best Christmas present in the world.  But, for those like me, I'd take the vacuum, thanks.  I love my babies, but two surprises later I am stretched very thin for someone who did not expect to have children before 30.  But, here I am kinda rockin' it as the most mediocre mommy out there!  If I were to receive a positive pregnancy test, the mediocre daddy would be receiving a vasectomy.

The bottom line is moms are going to appreciate just being thought of and that you put some thought into a present this Christmas.  It doesn't have to be extravagant or costly.  It doesn't even have to be wrapped; although even Amazon wrapping looks much better under the tree than a Walmart sack does.  Just show mom you love her this season!  Chin up though, if she doesn't like it you always have Valentine's Day to redeem yourself.