The Potty Training Game Changer

Let me just say what everyone who has been there or is there right now is thinking; potty training is pure, unadulterated HELL.  There is absolutely nothing even remotely close to what they show in a training pants commercial.  That has to be some form of false advertising, I swear.  After hearing many success stories of friends and family whose children were very successful with a "3 day" or "one week" potty training method, I thought to myself "we can do it, it's only going to be three days of tough."  Once again, karma got me. Karma got me GOOD.  We started the potty training in January after our son began to show all the signs of interest.  Well, all the signs but actually going in the potty!  He is one stubborn, and often times defiant kid.  I love that he is willing to question conformity and is not afraid to do his own thing, until it comes to using a toilet.  That is one social conformity that is non-negotiable in our home, and likely with the entirety of developed civilizations.

Thinking about it from a psychological sense, I can see why potty training is tough.  I mean, we are essentially teaching our children to resist instinctual urges of "relief" by trading it with a desire to conform to a common societal practice.  As intellectual as that sounds, and as much as I drilled that into my head, it didn't help my "understanding" of why my son needed to use his own deuce as "boulders" for his excavator in his bedroom.  Toddlers. Are. Absolutely. Disgusting.  This is why they are so darn cute. 

After days of hiding and masking my stress, trying every trick and tip given to me, and doing my best to maintain positive vibes towards my son, not to mention MANY prayers for patience, the Mediocre Daddy came to the rescue with a potty training kit he found and ordered 100% autonomously from Amazon (link provided below).  This kid from The Potty Trainer was an absolute game changer for us, and it probably saved our marriage.  Days of defeat (for me) on the potty training front translated into super bitch mode towards the Mediocre Daddy, which in turn may have swayed his decision to order this kit.  So, for those curious here's why it was magic for us.  

The kit includes a DVD for parents and kids, a potty timer watch, a sticker chart, a potty journal, and a "Certificate of Completion" for the child once training is a success.  I cannot comment on the DVD though.  We have a PS4 gaming system that doubles as our way to watch DVDs/Blu-Ray and the disc was not compatible for our system, just and FYI.  However, the system for us worked just as well without the DVD.  We had been doing a sticker chart with very mild success, but coupling that with the potty training journal and watch was awesome.  Both of these can be wiped dry if you choose to use a dry erase marker as well.  The journal was a good tracker for myself because I was able to better pinpoint what kinds of accidents were happening when during the day.  Stickers were an ok confidence booster for our son, but he was really in it to win it when suckers were brought to the table.  I was sure after day four he was the next face of the "diabeetus" commercials, but he made it through unscathed.

That watch, that watch was the ultimate game changer.  We had been setting the oven timer, cell phone alarms, etc. to take him to the toilet, but the watch with colorful lights and (a slightly annoying tone) playing some tunes of children's favorite songs was just the thing we needed to really get him excited about going.  The child can wear the watch, but he was happier having it set in an area where he could see and hear it without having it on his person.  The watch can be set for 30 min., 60 min., or 90 min.  We started out with 30 and after one day with that began to notice some of a difference.  After 3 days there were nearly no pee accidents, and within two weeks he was going both in the potty successfully.  A lot of it is about how and when it clicks in the child's mind what the "got to go" feeling is, this took some time for my son, but the watch helped reinforce the thought process behind "hey! do I really need to go?" 

I'm not going to sit here and pretend that potty training was easy for us, because it was literally the hardest thing I have done in my time as a parent, and I still will have one to go on this potty train!  I know that we will keep this product for use with our daughter though and start right out with it once the day comes.  I always say my husband is a saint, but in this scenario St. Daddy seriously saved the day (and probably our marriage, our romantic times, my sanity...).  So, if you too are in the trenches of potty training, go to Amazon (  and order this kit.  It says for boys, but the principle will work for boys or girls (unless the DVD has a gender specific section, this I cannot speak to) Oh.  Add on some wine, or coffee, or chocolate, or all of it to your order too, trust me. You're going to need it and it makes it easier.  Some days, vodka made it easier; like when I was scrubbing poop out of our carpet after it was "construction site stuff."  But, on this day, March 25, 2017, our son received his certificate of completion for potty training.  He was so excited he nearly cried (but did NOT pee his pants! WIN!) and that pride in himself and excitement in that moment made all of my tears, stress, defeat, disgust, and at times anger all seem so irrelevant.  I know he will likely have a few accidents here and there, but we finally, FINALLY made it out of the trenches and into the light.  And in a bittersweet way, his babyhood is just completely and fully over as we transition now into the time of having a kid!   

https://www.amazon.com/Potty-Training-Days-Ultimate-Laminated/dp/B00M2GFQG8/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1490493593&sr=8-1&keywords=the%2Bpotty%2Btrainer&th=1

Note:  For this post, I did not receive any items in the kit free of charge.  I am writing this based on my unbiased review of a product that worked well for our family.  Retails at $23.97 on Amazon and is Prime eligible.  

"See you Later," Never "Goodbye"

Sometimes I find myself complaining about military spouse life.  TriCare can be a headache, time away from my husband can be annoying, and if I wash another damn pen that was left in one of the bajillion pockets I happened to miss in the uniform, I may go insane!  But, all of these small annoyances are trivial in comparison to the part of military life that actually does stink; when our friends move away.

As military spouses, we tend to jump headfirst into friendships because we know we may only have a few months in any given location.  Thinking about it outside a military sense, yes, it does seem weird to just go to a person's house you have never met in person before!  I think the only ones who do that outside of military life use something called Tinder and it is for a totally different kind of "playdate," if you get my drift. I am not saying do not be safe, ALWAYS exercise caution and follow your gut, but when you know you have a good egg, don't waste anytime.  So naturally, when you invest so much time into new friends, who quickly become best friends, whose children quickly become your children's best friends, it hurts when someone must move on.

I never say goodbye.  This sprouted from my dad, and he likely didn't know that he was preparing me for a troubadouristic (ok, with much less music and singing) lifestyle, but he always says "see you later."  It didn't matter if he was talking to me before dropping me at school or talking to a gas station attendant in New Mexico he would likely never see again, he always just gives a good "see ya later." It's easier than goodbye.  It's especially easier to tell our friends we will see them later than to say goodbye.  Goodbyes are so final, and something that is not final is our friendship.  Whether it is to another country or across this one, distance doesn't end friends.  Facebook makes sure of that!  Not to mention the fact that the army is a (relatively) small world and we may well see each other later!

Goodbye is too definite, too concrete, too sobering.  As my children begin to realize they must eventually say their see you later's to their friends (especially my son who frequently asks me when Charlie, Jacob, and Paul will be coming to see him) I want them to know that they don't lose friends.  We can always be friends.  They can always be friends and they may see each other again in the future. They play and have fun and live in the now which is such a beautiful thing in such a transient life.  We can all learn a little bit from that.  So, when our days are running short, we play, we have fun, and we live in the now just as our children do.

                "Until we meet again, whether at our next post or at the gates of Heaven."