Birthday parties. On the 27th of this month, my son turned three which required a birthday party. Sure, he's had two parties previously but a first birthday party is extremely easy, and for his second we were visiting family during an international move from Germany to our current home in Missouri, so a family party was had. This was my first hoorah with a multi-toddler birthday party. We have an amazing group of friends here in Missouri, and being this far from family they really are a second family here! We have had lots of playdates with other kids, even in our house, but the birthday party brought a whole new level of stress that us newbie birthday party moms didn't understand until planning our first go at a large scale birthday party. Looking back now that the whirl wind of kids 1-4 is over in my house, here are the top five stresses I faced while planning the party:
1. Games
Birthday parties are supposed to have a game right? This is supposed to be a no brainer, right? Wrong. When your party contains little boys ages 1-4 there are so many considerations with games. Can it poke an eye out? Is it a choking hazard? Will there be punching involved while waiting turns? Can they focus? Let me just clear up a LOT. As far as games in this age group go, save your money. I had planned a pumpkin painting game where I fantasized about the toddlers sitting and creatively finger painting their little mini pumpkins they got to pick out themselves in our backyard "pumpkin patch." In reality, the kids loved picking a pumpkin (or seven), a few enjoyed the painting for a short amount of time, but running around like drunken crazies was the biggest hit of all. As well as the random stray cat that decided to crash the party. At that point, "chase the kitty" was a better entertainment option than sitting to paint a pumpkin. Live and learn. The cat is invited back next year.
2. Balloons
Little kids really effin love balloons. I had planned to get all sorts of cute little balloons so everyone could have one, and get a nice balloon arrangement for my birthday boy to set in the middle of the table. Know what really happened? I forgot. I forgot about balloons until I was showering with just over an hour until party time. Thank God my parents were here because, barely dressed (I forgot underwear in my haste), wet hair, and all I made a mad dash for Dollar Tree at 45 minutes to party time. I grabbed three random balloons from the preinflated section, without even looking to see what exact balloons I got other than ensuring they said something about a birthday. Only to have them home for two minutes before one was inevitably popped and my son exclaimed sadly "my party is ruined!"
3. Cake
Cake seems like it should be a relative no brainer. You find a baker, go to a local bakery at a grocer, or DIY a nice cake for the theme that you or you child has chosen. This is not the case when the birthday boy has sweetener sensitivities. Our son is most likely allergic to any item containing an unnatural sweetener in any form. We found this out the hard way. So, I spend time researching, reading labels, knowing what was and was not ok for him and his little tummy. Because puking all morning the day after your birthday is reserved for the day after the big 21, and he only turned three. Fondant? Not an option. Anything containing even trace amounts of Splenda? Not an option. It's actually really eye opening to look into all of this and it becomes crucial for my little guy.
4. Do we Feed Them?
Planning a meal for toddlers is hard. It's hard without the above mentioned eating considerations my son has, but when you also want to ensure toddlers eat, its even harder. So we had the staples; gluten free macaroni and cheese with a dairy free cheese sauce, lil' smokies sausages, and corn. I know what you are thinking right now. She's "that mom" that wants everything to be a popular fad way of eating right now. That is not the case. The gluten free noodles are because I am part of the global 7% with Celiacs disease and I have 0 control when it comes to delicious macaroni and cheese! The dairy free cheese was because Max has a friend who is lactose intolerant and I wanted to ensure that this little boy was included in the meal like all of his friends. The best part is that no one knew the difference! Sure, I chose a gluten free, low sugar, no artificial dyes/preservatives (I even checked the dang smokies) meal to all of the kids and guess what? They all loved it! Minus my child who decided at the last minute that he "didn't like" anything offered to him.
5. Dads?
I will just put this out there as it is. 99% of the time, dads don't really care if they are a part of the party. My husband was thanking the birthday gods that he didn't have to be amongst 10+ running, screaming, wild toddlers for a few hours. This never changes. My parents we able to come celebrate, and during the majority of the party, grandpa took a "nap" with the baby. Which worked out great because my daughter was cool with being out of the chaos with grandpa for most of the time. At first I was sad that my husband would miss out, but once the party was going I knew it was best that he did! He loves our children so unconditionally, but he may not have loved the kids who were trying to shove a movie into his beloved PS4 quite as much. Don't worry, the PS4 is safe, and for those wondering, its pretty toddler proof.
Don't get me wrong. Parties for toddlers are awesome! In all the chaos and confusion and stress there was the beautiful light that my son got exactly what he wanted for his birthday; his friends. TO the same token, I got what I needed for his birthday; my friends. It was wonderful that my parents could be there as well. Was it stressful? Without a doubt. Was it worth it? Without a doubt. Turning three was an emotional time for me! It means that I have been a mother now for over three years, considering I was pregnant for nine months prior to having my wonderful boy. I have held him everyday for three years. It's been three years since I saw that little face for the first time. My boy is, without question, no longer a baby and I love him with every part of me. The party was for him as much as it was for me. We both needed to celebrate that little boy. That little life who changed mine forever. He;s the best, guys. He is so unique even by toddler standards and I love him unconditionally, even when he does say the "F" word almost hourly.
Saturday, October 29, 2016
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
"Oh! When are you due?!" uhmmm...NEVER.
It happened. Someone asked me when I am due. This has never happened to me before. But, it happened. I can join the ranks of all the moms who have had to say "nope, just fat thanks!" But honestly, surprisingly really, it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would.
Let me back track a second and set the scene. So we took our son to the pumpkin patch on Saturday and while having fun, we happened to run into a woman my husband used to work with at a previous duty station. This was back when we were in our long-distance relationship, so she had not met me before and knew my husband as that grumpy bachelor who just really liked his beer (the man I fell madly in love with). She was visiting with us, and said "I can't imagine you with three children!" while making the "bump" gesture. It was very nice and cute and friendly, but there is one problem; I'm not pregnant.
Since the birth of my son I have struggled with weight issues. I gained WAY too much during my first pregnancy thanks to all of the delicious pastries that Germany has to offer. So, this is a scenario I have been mortified about since his birth nearly three years ago. I figured that if this ever happened I would cry. I would have some snarky, bitchy comeback. I would just walk away in shame. None of that happened. It's probably due to maturity, but when you are in the situation you realize some things. The biggest thing is that people really want to be happy for pregnant women, and they really aren't trying to hurt feelings.
I laughed. My husband just said "no... do you think my wife is just fat?" She was so mortified. I actually felt worse for her than me. After she apologized and I assured her it was no biggie, I thought about the encounter. Do I look pregnant? Am I "fat?" It took me aback for sure, but you know what it didn't do? It didn't hurt my feelings. It surprisingly didn't hurt my feelings! You know why? Because she didn't know.
She didn't know that I have struggled with no longer being a size 5. She didn't know my baby is only barely 4 months old. She didn't know I had issues gaining a healthy amount with my daughter because I was afraid to gain too much. She is newly pregnant herself, so was not aware that some moms just carry their weight in an awkward place (this would be me!). She didn't know that I have worked my butt off to loose 22 lbs since the birth of my daughter in June. Most importantly she wasn't out to hurt me. Truth is, she probably really wanted another woman who she felt that she could connect with on pregnancy.
I just remind myself of the goals I have and the ones I have met. Guess what? Instead of letting it get to me, I just am proud. I'm proud of the mom body I have because it was able to grow and house two healthy, beautiful babies. It means I was able to carry children, which is something many women are not able to do. It will keep my on track with my body goals. Will I be a size 5 again? Realistically no. Will I get rid of the baby pooch? Realistically, in time. I mean, my daughter is 4 months old! I am shocked with the results I have seen so far (Zumba is no joke, guys).
Just don't let the "when are you dues" or "how far alongs" or "you look great pregnant!s" get to you. I like to believe that 99% of the population really wants to compliment the pregnant form and help women feel confident. Don't let it stop your goals, don't let it get to you, don't let it take away from every change your body has endured while making, having, and after children. Women's bodies do some pretty amazing (and pretty freakin gross) stuff! Be thankful to be a mom and to have beautiful children to show for it. If you have a little extra and you are trying to get rid of it like me, remind yourself you will get there! Just keep working. It's just one person. It's just one person's view. Remember, we all look chubby when we accidentally have our phone on selfie mode.
Let me back track a second and set the scene. So we took our son to the pumpkin patch on Saturday and while having fun, we happened to run into a woman my husband used to work with at a previous duty station. This was back when we were in our long-distance relationship, so she had not met me before and knew my husband as that grumpy bachelor who just really liked his beer (the man I fell madly in love with). She was visiting with us, and said "I can't imagine you with three children!" while making the "bump" gesture. It was very nice and cute and friendly, but there is one problem; I'm not pregnant.
Since the birth of my son I have struggled with weight issues. I gained WAY too much during my first pregnancy thanks to all of the delicious pastries that Germany has to offer. So, this is a scenario I have been mortified about since his birth nearly three years ago. I figured that if this ever happened I would cry. I would have some snarky, bitchy comeback. I would just walk away in shame. None of that happened. It's probably due to maturity, but when you are in the situation you realize some things. The biggest thing is that people really want to be happy for pregnant women, and they really aren't trying to hurt feelings.
I laughed. My husband just said "no... do you think my wife is just fat?" She was so mortified. I actually felt worse for her than me. After she apologized and I assured her it was no biggie, I thought about the encounter. Do I look pregnant? Am I "fat?" It took me aback for sure, but you know what it didn't do? It didn't hurt my feelings. It surprisingly didn't hurt my feelings! You know why? Because she didn't know.
She didn't know that I have struggled with no longer being a size 5. She didn't know my baby is only barely 4 months old. She didn't know I had issues gaining a healthy amount with my daughter because I was afraid to gain too much. She is newly pregnant herself, so was not aware that some moms just carry their weight in an awkward place (this would be me!). She didn't know that I have worked my butt off to loose 22 lbs since the birth of my daughter in June. Most importantly she wasn't out to hurt me. Truth is, she probably really wanted another woman who she felt that she could connect with on pregnancy.
I just remind myself of the goals I have and the ones I have met. Guess what? Instead of letting it get to me, I just am proud. I'm proud of the mom body I have because it was able to grow and house two healthy, beautiful babies. It means I was able to carry children, which is something many women are not able to do. It will keep my on track with my body goals. Will I be a size 5 again? Realistically no. Will I get rid of the baby pooch? Realistically, in time. I mean, my daughter is 4 months old! I am shocked with the results I have seen so far (Zumba is no joke, guys).
Just don't let the "when are you dues" or "how far alongs" or "you look great pregnant!s" get to you. I like to believe that 99% of the population really wants to compliment the pregnant form and help women feel confident. Don't let it stop your goals, don't let it get to you, don't let it take away from every change your body has endured while making, having, and after children. Women's bodies do some pretty amazing (and pretty freakin gross) stuff! Be thankful to be a mom and to have beautiful children to show for it. If you have a little extra and you are trying to get rid of it like me, remind yourself you will get there! Just keep working. It's just one person. It's just one person's view. Remember, we all look chubby when we accidentally have our phone on selfie mode.
Thursday, October 13, 2016
Five Things I Would Rather do than Wait with my Kids
Every time I have to go somewhere where I know there will be a lengthy wait, I absolutely dread having to take my children. The pharmacy, the DMV, the clinic...even a moderately slow restaurant can become a nightmare quickly with a toddler and an infant. There are very few things I would take waiting anywhere non-child oriented over on any given day. I get it, he is three and she is four months; I don't expect them to have an adult level attention span. But is it too much to ask that my son not like the window to the barber shop as we are waiting in the pharmacy waiting area? Or that the baby refrain from having a poop-splosion the minute our number is called at the DMV? So, on days like today when my son is going wild and my daughter is screaming 99.9% of our wait time to pick up a prescription they only had enough to fill half way (after we waited for nearly three hours, welcome to the army) I can think of at least five things that sound so much more appealing than sitting "quietly" (ha ha ha) in a waiting area with them:
1. Dusting
I really, really, really despise dusting. But I would dust the entirety of all the collections at the Smithsonian Museum any day over a waiting room with my kids.
2. Milk a Fish
Fish don't produce milk, so you can about imagine what substance is being collected here. Fun fact: in college I actually got to do this at a fish hatchery during one of my range management wildlife management classes. It's a lot more satisfying than a waiting room with toddlers that's for sure.
3. Pregnancy Test Cattle
Can you tell I am a former farm/ranch animal science/agricultural business major? Another thing I have done that is not that pleasant, but there are days it at very least rivals a waiting room with children. It's a hands on job; let's just say EPT doesn't make a 3 minute test for cattle.
4. Fighting a Rabid Skunk
Admittedly, trying to change my daughter today in the bathroom near our waiting room felt this way. She is teething and upset (can't blame her) and needed a messy diaper removed ASAP. She also hates the baby wipe on her lady area (again, can't blame her) so between the screams of teething and the screams of baby wipe on the privates, I am pretty surprised no one called Child Protective Services.
5. Comfort a Crying Drunk
I am not good at this. I have no idea what to do when a drunk person starts crying because I usually can't make any sense about what they are crying about. My answer has usually been to just leave that scene! However, given the choice between comforting a crying drunk and keeping my son quiet at the DMV, I would take 500 hysterically crying drunks any day.
I love my children with all of my heart, but I just wish there was a better way to do things like the pharmacy or the DMV than waiting for hours on end. Being around my kids makes my day everyday, but it seems like we always have to do something involving a huge wait time on their worst days. Kindergarten. Kindergarten will be my time when I can do these things without fighting tears and ignoring condescending stares from the childless people in the room. Let me just say, thank God for the grandmas and grandpas. Because they love children in a special way that only grandparents can, no matter if the child is their grandchild or not. So, man who read the "Engineer" Magazine with my son today as I comforted my fussy baby, thank you for making the experience a little more bearable.
1. Dusting
I really, really, really despise dusting. But I would dust the entirety of all the collections at the Smithsonian Museum any day over a waiting room with my kids.
2. Milk a Fish
Fish don't produce milk, so you can about imagine what substance is being collected here. Fun fact: in college I actually got to do this at a fish hatchery during one of my range management wildlife management classes. It's a lot more satisfying than a waiting room with toddlers that's for sure.
3. Pregnancy Test Cattle
Can you tell I am a former farm/ranch animal science/agricultural business major? Another thing I have done that is not that pleasant, but there are days it at very least rivals a waiting room with children. It's a hands on job; let's just say EPT doesn't make a 3 minute test for cattle.
4. Fighting a Rabid Skunk
Admittedly, trying to change my daughter today in the bathroom near our waiting room felt this way. She is teething and upset (can't blame her) and needed a messy diaper removed ASAP. She also hates the baby wipe on her lady area (again, can't blame her) so between the screams of teething and the screams of baby wipe on the privates, I am pretty surprised no one called Child Protective Services.
5. Comfort a Crying Drunk
I am not good at this. I have no idea what to do when a drunk person starts crying because I usually can't make any sense about what they are crying about. My answer has usually been to just leave that scene! However, given the choice between comforting a crying drunk and keeping my son quiet at the DMV, I would take 500 hysterically crying drunks any day.
I love my children with all of my heart, but I just wish there was a better way to do things like the pharmacy or the DMV than waiting for hours on end. Being around my kids makes my day everyday, but it seems like we always have to do something involving a huge wait time on their worst days. Kindergarten. Kindergarten will be my time when I can do these things without fighting tears and ignoring condescending stares from the childless people in the room. Let me just say, thank God for the grandmas and grandpas. Because they love children in a special way that only grandparents can, no matter if the child is their grandchild or not. So, man who read the "Engineer" Magazine with my son today as I comforted my fussy baby, thank you for making the experience a little more bearable.
Saturday, October 8, 2016
"You Bought a VAN?!" and Other Things my College Self Would Laugh at Now.
There was a time when I was cool. There was a time when I could stay up until the wee hours of the morning with my friends having fun. There was a time when I would have looked at me now and thought I was so uncool now. I made so many statements about the things I would never do in my life when I was too young to know anything different from the life I was living. We all say weird stuff in college. We all are discovering ourselves and in the process assume we will be these fun, untouchable, awesome people indefinitely. Then life happens. Looking back, there are at least five things college Courtney would totally laugh at mom Courtney for!
1. "You Bought a Mini Van?!"
My college roommate and I quite literally vowed we would never, ever, under any circumstance drive (much less actually purchase) a van of any type. Guess what? A husband and two kids later, we are the proud owners of a Dodge Grand Caravan. Know what? I absolutely LOVE my van! The space is amazing. It has Sirius radio so I can listen to the cool, hip music in my mom van. The doors slide which means I don't run the risk of scratching the car of the jerk who parked entirely too close to a car with carseats on both sides. I have so much space for Sam's Club and Target purchases. I have bucket seats. Is it as sporty and cool as the Dodge Dakota or Chevy Avalanche I drove in college? Probably not at all. Is it roomier and more practical? Absolutely. Plus, it has stow and go. I'm in heaven. Sorry, Rachel, I broke our oathe! But this van is love.
2. "You Wear Leggings?!"
Yes, college self. I wear leggings. Know what else? I. LOVE. THEM. Leggings, paired with the proper shirt, are totally pants. I love my LuLaRoe, ok. I love the comfort, ease, and support. I love the look. Sure I still love a good pair of jeans, but jeans just don't offer the mobility. You know what doesn't happen in a good pair of leggings? Crack. I have yet to have my butt crack hang out while feeding a baby or bending over while running after a crazy toddler. That is so awesome. To the leggings designers out there, you guys rock. Thank you for saving me from the public humiliation that is my husband (loudly) pointing out that he can see my butt crack in public.
3. "You Own GRANNY PANTIES?!?!"
Yes ok. Yes. All moms own Hanes underwear. Because the only thing less cute than a butt crack while sitting in public to feed a baby is a thong hanging out above that butt crack. It's not the early 90s. That's not a thing, and that should never have been a thing, but there was a time when it was "stylish." I used to have cute underwear. I used to actually care what they looked like. Now, I just want coverage. I want something to hold my mom belly in because anything I can buy to hid the excess chub from baby fat is worth it to me. This is also how I know my husband is a virtual saint. Because Haines briefs are probably the farthest thing from sexy lingerie there is on this Earth, but he still loves me. He rocks for real, or maybe he just pretends I still wear cute undergarments. Either way, the mom undies aren't going anywhere.
4. "You Left the House without Makeup?!"
Yes, I sure did. You know what else, College Courtney? Mom Courtney went to Walmart without makeup on, she does it regularly, and she doesn't care! Sure, I still absolutely love makeup. I love playing with and putting on my makeup, but I just don't always have the time or the want to do it. There's actually something really positive in being comfortable enough in my own skin to leave the house with nothing on, because there was a time that I would have mentally not been able to do so. I mean, when we first got married, I would put on makeup before my husband got home, even if I was wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt all day! I still love makeup and I still have lots of it! But it is no longer needed in order for me to go grab chocolate milk or pay our rent bill.
5. "You Dance Like a Loser."
I do. I don't care. It's really, really awesome. Yes, my dance moves are not as "cool" as they once were. They are a little more nerd, a lot less cute, and a lot less butt movement. Mostly because I have a lot more areas I would rather did NOT shake at this point that I stick to classics like the lawn mower and shopping cart every chance I get. I am, however, getting to be pretty awesome at Zumba if I don't say so myself. Well, awesome compared to when I started! On the occasion that I do go out dancing with my friends (this happens when we have "Zumba at the Club Night" and we go zumba before it opens and then dance in our workout gear after, its awesome) I just don't care what I look like anymore. Know what? It's really freakin' awesome to not give two you-know-whats what I look like while dancing. I'm happily married so the idea that "what if a cute guy sees me?! I need to look cute!" is out the window. I have a super cute guy locked in at home! No need to impress anyone. It;s the best feeling ever. I wish I could go back and tell myself to stop caring so much what other people will think and just be me and be fun and dance like a crazy fool because its awesome and fun.
I used to be cool. Now I drive a van and do the sprinkler in the dance club. I don't care. There is something so empowering in being a mom because you don't take those moments of "cool" for granted. My days of heels and tight dresses while dancing with my friends are over. But the days of baby cuddles, sweet little "I love you's," having the absolute best man (and cutest ever) as a husband, and seeking are over. The days of seeking for the right group, the right man, the right song, the right job are all over. The wild card is over. I would lie if I said there were days I didn't think about those days and miss them, but I honestly couldn't do it anymore! I mean, staying up until 11:30 to finish a cliff-hanger episode of my favorite TV series on Netflix, or being excited for our "Debate Night" Party are much different things than I would have been excited for on the weekends five years ago. But this is my life, and dang it College Courtney you were so wrong. You were so young and wild and fun. But that chapter is over, and this one is so, so, so special to me. I found the best person to share it with, and the two best little people to have with me everyday. And, when I feel like getting wild and crazy, my son and I play just dance. Watching him dance is a lot like watching a drunk college guy dance. He;s got some mad moves, man.
1. "You Bought a Mini Van?!"
My college roommate and I quite literally vowed we would never, ever, under any circumstance drive (much less actually purchase) a van of any type. Guess what? A husband and two kids later, we are the proud owners of a Dodge Grand Caravan. Know what? I absolutely LOVE my van! The space is amazing. It has Sirius radio so I can listen to the cool, hip music in my mom van. The doors slide which means I don't run the risk of scratching the car of the jerk who parked entirely too close to a car with carseats on both sides. I have so much space for Sam's Club and Target purchases. I have bucket seats. Is it as sporty and cool as the Dodge Dakota or Chevy Avalanche I drove in college? Probably not at all. Is it roomier and more practical? Absolutely. Plus, it has stow and go. I'm in heaven. Sorry, Rachel, I broke our oathe! But this van is love.
2. "You Wear Leggings?!"
Yes, college self. I wear leggings. Know what else? I. LOVE. THEM. Leggings, paired with the proper shirt, are totally pants. I love my LuLaRoe, ok. I love the comfort, ease, and support. I love the look. Sure I still love a good pair of jeans, but jeans just don't offer the mobility. You know what doesn't happen in a good pair of leggings? Crack. I have yet to have my butt crack hang out while feeding a baby or bending over while running after a crazy toddler. That is so awesome. To the leggings designers out there, you guys rock. Thank you for saving me from the public humiliation that is my husband (loudly) pointing out that he can see my butt crack in public.
3. "You Own GRANNY PANTIES?!?!"
Yes ok. Yes. All moms own Hanes underwear. Because the only thing less cute than a butt crack while sitting in public to feed a baby is a thong hanging out above that butt crack. It's not the early 90s. That's not a thing, and that should never have been a thing, but there was a time when it was "stylish." I used to have cute underwear. I used to actually care what they looked like. Now, I just want coverage. I want something to hold my mom belly in because anything I can buy to hid the excess chub from baby fat is worth it to me. This is also how I know my husband is a virtual saint. Because Haines briefs are probably the farthest thing from sexy lingerie there is on this Earth, but he still loves me. He rocks for real, or maybe he just pretends I still wear cute undergarments. Either way, the mom undies aren't going anywhere.
4. "You Left the House without Makeup?!"
Yes, I sure did. You know what else, College Courtney? Mom Courtney went to Walmart without makeup on, she does it regularly, and she doesn't care! Sure, I still absolutely love makeup. I love playing with and putting on my makeup, but I just don't always have the time or the want to do it. There's actually something really positive in being comfortable enough in my own skin to leave the house with nothing on, because there was a time that I would have mentally not been able to do so. I mean, when we first got married, I would put on makeup before my husband got home, even if I was wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt all day! I still love makeup and I still have lots of it! But it is no longer needed in order for me to go grab chocolate milk or pay our rent bill.
5. "You Dance Like a Loser."
I do. I don't care. It's really, really awesome. Yes, my dance moves are not as "cool" as they once were. They are a little more nerd, a lot less cute, and a lot less butt movement. Mostly because I have a lot more areas I would rather did NOT shake at this point that I stick to classics like the lawn mower and shopping cart every chance I get. I am, however, getting to be pretty awesome at Zumba if I don't say so myself. Well, awesome compared to when I started! On the occasion that I do go out dancing with my friends (this happens when we have "Zumba at the Club Night" and we go zumba before it opens and then dance in our workout gear after, its awesome) I just don't care what I look like anymore. Know what? It's really freakin' awesome to not give two you-know-whats what I look like while dancing. I'm happily married so the idea that "what if a cute guy sees me?! I need to look cute!" is out the window. I have a super cute guy locked in at home! No need to impress anyone. It;s the best feeling ever. I wish I could go back and tell myself to stop caring so much what other people will think and just be me and be fun and dance like a crazy fool because its awesome and fun.
I used to be cool. Now I drive a van and do the sprinkler in the dance club. I don't care. There is something so empowering in being a mom because you don't take those moments of "cool" for granted. My days of heels and tight dresses while dancing with my friends are over. But the days of baby cuddles, sweet little "I love you's," having the absolute best man (and cutest ever) as a husband, and seeking are over. The days of seeking for the right group, the right man, the right song, the right job are all over. The wild card is over. I would lie if I said there were days I didn't think about those days and miss them, but I honestly couldn't do it anymore! I mean, staying up until 11:30 to finish a cliff-hanger episode of my favorite TV series on Netflix, or being excited for our "Debate Night" Party are much different things than I would have been excited for on the weekends five years ago. But this is my life, and dang it College Courtney you were so wrong. You were so young and wild and fun. But that chapter is over, and this one is so, so, so special to me. I found the best person to share it with, and the two best little people to have with me everyday. And, when I feel like getting wild and crazy, my son and I play just dance. Watching him dance is a lot like watching a drunk college guy dance. He;s got some mad moves, man.
Friday, October 7, 2016
Not "If," but "When"
If there is one thing I have learned as a toddler mom, it's to never assume your child is never going to do something. All toddlers have similar mindsets; it goes a little something like "do whatever I want whenever I want, especially if it can make mom loose her cool." I'm guilty of the "ifs." When our son was younger, I would say things like "I don't know what I would do if he drew on the wall, played with his own feces, hits me on purpose" and probably about a million other things. What I have learned is that its not been, in my experience, a matter of "if" so much as a matter of "when" because all of those previously mentioned "ifs" have manifested into solid "whens."
If it can be done, kids will find a way. There is something to be admired about their persistent nature and inquisitive minds. However, there are days I wish my child had been born with the "playing in my own poop/drawing on the wall with a Sharpie are socially unacceptable practices" instinct. The thing is, all moms live in the bliss that those outrageous stories that other moms talk about will never happen in their households. Then they do. Or, in the case of the poop incident, at your mother's house (sorry, mom). So, if your baby has yet to hit the toddler years just know--its going to happen. Even if you hide the markers it will happen. I have yet to discover where my child actually located a RED Sharpie marker, but he sure did! By the way, hairspray gets that off of white walls and white carpeting wonderfully.
I wish I could offer some cool insider advice on how to prepare for the "whens" but there just isn't a book titled "What to Do When your Child is a Poop Picasso" or "How to Not Completely Loose your Shit when your Child Colors a Wall" yet. The cuteness of the What to Expect series did not adequately prepare me for what was to come. I was not prepared for those "whens" and I am still not prepared. But now I know. I know that I need to just say "when." Our "whens" are going to change as our son ages, and there is a whole new set coming with our daughter. Some of the teen girl "whens" I am not even going to acknowledge and pretend that my daughter will always be a sweet, drooly, smiley, baby girl. If there were no "whens" there would be no discovery, no learning, no boundaries, no idea of socially acceptable behavior. They will happen. It's basically a law of science or math or physics or something.
There will never be a way to prepare for these "whens" to hit. Just make sure you have some people who have "been there, done that" in your corner, good friends to tell your daily AHHHHHH moments to, a supportive significant other, spouse, parent, sibling, best friend, etc. to sometimes cry on, and know that each "when" is, inevitably, experienced by all moms. From Poop Picaso to Marker Michel Angelo, it happens. All those "ifs" become "whens" and we live to tell the tale another day!
If it can be done, kids will find a way. There is something to be admired about their persistent nature and inquisitive minds. However, there are days I wish my child had been born with the "playing in my own poop/drawing on the wall with a Sharpie are socially unacceptable practices" instinct. The thing is, all moms live in the bliss that those outrageous stories that other moms talk about will never happen in their households. Then they do. Or, in the case of the poop incident, at your mother's house (sorry, mom). So, if your baby has yet to hit the toddler years just know--its going to happen. Even if you hide the markers it will happen. I have yet to discover where my child actually located a RED Sharpie marker, but he sure did! By the way, hairspray gets that off of white walls and white carpeting wonderfully.
I wish I could offer some cool insider advice on how to prepare for the "whens" but there just isn't a book titled "What to Do When your Child is a Poop Picasso" or "How to Not Completely Loose your Shit when your Child Colors a Wall" yet. The cuteness of the What to Expect series did not adequately prepare me for what was to come. I was not prepared for those "whens" and I am still not prepared. But now I know. I know that I need to just say "when." Our "whens" are going to change as our son ages, and there is a whole new set coming with our daughter. Some of the teen girl "whens" I am not even going to acknowledge and pretend that my daughter will always be a sweet, drooly, smiley, baby girl. If there were no "whens" there would be no discovery, no learning, no boundaries, no idea of socially acceptable behavior. They will happen. It's basically a law of science or math or physics or something.
There will never be a way to prepare for these "whens" to hit. Just make sure you have some people who have "been there, done that" in your corner, good friends to tell your daily AHHHHHH moments to, a supportive significant other, spouse, parent, sibling, best friend, etc. to sometimes cry on, and know that each "when" is, inevitably, experienced by all moms. From Poop Picaso to Marker Michel Angelo, it happens. All those "ifs" become "whens" and we live to tell the tale another day!
Saturday, October 1, 2016
Beans, Booze, and Babes
It's coffee and wine. Short and sweet and satisfying. I apologize to those who opened this article looking for information on a really fun time (sometimes I have clever titles, worked though, didn't it?!).
But why now? Why as a mother do I sooo love my overpriced, way too many shots of espresso, and typically (by the time I drink it) luke-warm lattes? Why do I now have a love and deeper interest in wine? I mean, I actually go and taste it and buy wine for the taste, season, meal choices, etc. instead of based solely on its price and alcohol content. I was of age to legally consume alcohol before I became a mother and I worked at a coffee shop for about six years prior to (and while pregnant with) our son. So why now? Why is it that moms like me love these two forms of liquid gold so much?
I know. It MUST be because I need some type of supplement, energy booster, craving control pill, or a billion other things I have been offered as an alternative to my coffee and wine intake daily. Here's the kicker: I love them and we are never, ever, ever breaking up. I can probably find lists of all the wonderful health benefits of consuming a daily glass of wine and cup of coffee, but, for me there is an emotional benefit. Coffee and wine are often times the only selfish things that I do to 100% indulge in something for myself on the regular. Now, I'm not saying that I drink daily lattes or consume copious amounts of wine, because everything is best enjoyed in moderation. I am a firm believer that people need to drink responsibly and there is a level of financial responsibility attached as well.
In reality coffee and wine are the only two things I can tell my toddler "no honey, it's not safe for you to drink this" and actually feel like, for once, I am not lying to him about food safety. Has he had a few sips of the bottom of a latte? Multiple times. Has he had a sip of wine? I'm not going to say no, because he did give himself a boxed wine shower once. But for the most part, those are two things that are completely "Mommy-Only" in our household, right alongside tampons and trashy reality TV shows.
So, coffee and wine is more than just a beverage for me. Aside from the fact that I just really, really (insert F bomb here) love coffee and wine, when you spend every waking minute of the day tending to the needs of other people; changing, feeding, playing with, holding, drying tears, carrying, directing, and fetching a variety of items for every day, it is not only nice, but essential to have something for you. For me, it's a latte or a glass of wine. For others it may be time to read a favorite book, meditate, take a warm bubble bath, watch a favorite TV show, or do a favorite hobby. It doesn't have to be coffee or wine, although I just don't fully understand those who don't like either of these God given gifts to moms. The point is that it is so important to do something everyday for you. To keep your sanity. To feel valued. To self indulge. To always be thankful for the little things in life or the few moments of quiet. Remember, mama has to be happy and healthy in order to care for and raise happy and healthy babies! Take time for you, even if its just the five minutes of drinking mediocre coffee in the car on the way to the park while listening to yo jam on the radio.
Coffee before nap, wine after nap that's my mama mantra.
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