We don't have to let the disappointments consume us. In fact, they're often a good lesson in grace and show us our own ability to overcome our situations. I like to tell myself and, eventually, when my kids are old enough to comprehend them as well, that the disappointments don't shape us, but they sure give us some grounds to rise on. If I listed out every single time I felt sucker punched by our lifestyle, I would seem like one narcissistic, sad, jerkface. In reality, I am about as opposite as it gets from those things! Well, except maybe a "jerkface" my son probably thinks I am one of those every time he is sent into a time-out. But aside from that one, I actively ensure I stay opposite of the others! Because it's easy to let disappoint consume is. It is much harder to rise up, look that disappointment square in the eye, and give it hell.
Those times I mentioned above? Those are all too common for many military families, and honestly things that other families often experience as well. I would like to say I'm this total super woman who can overcome all adversity completely on my own, all while having flawless skin and great hair. The truth is, there are things that can help in these times. I say all.the.time "I get by with a little help from my friends." This is so true! A solid group of friends, no matter the size, are really the best in times of disappointment. Sometimes you just need an understanding ear to vent to, a buddy to "whine and wine" with, or someone who just will tell you that the situation sucks. Empathy is so important! These friends are also great because they help you see the light at the end of the tunnel. They help you make a plan E, F, and G. They bring you back to your sorta super woman center again, and they just make everything better. Friends are such crucial parts of military lifestyle! It's also important to have your service member's back. As much as I sometimes want to scream profanities related to our life, I don't because at the end of the day I am thankful. I am thankful for his service, because let's face it. I would be the WORST soldier in the world (ask the mediocre daddy if you don't believe me). I am thankful for the roof over our head, the food on our plates, and that annoying camo duffel bag behind my rocking chair to trip on. Because all of these things, all of these signs of a soldier, means he is home, he is safe, and we are whole.
Remember this next step the next time you find yourself in the heat of a life disappointment at the hands of a military lifestyle; pick up your phone and dial your mama. Because no one knows better than mom (or dad, or grandma, or grandpa or whoever you are closest to) what to do. No one makes me feel better about life situations than my mom. Even this crazy, unorganized, hot mess of a mom needs her mom from time to time (and by time to time I mean daily. She probably gets annoyed with the amount I call her!). Our loved ones always help us see the brighter side of things. Sometimes we just need to see that our grass is just as green as the other side.
When life gives you unexpected turns, its ok to take a minute to be sad, to cry, to be upset or mad. There is absolutely nothing wrong with acknowledging and giving way to your emotions--in fact, its healthy. If you want to learn more about that, just watch "Inside Out" its the best basic explanation of that I have found! Sometimes Sadness needs to take the wheel for a minute and kick Joy to the sideline, so that Joy can come back stronger than ever. Take that minute, get it out, and then thing it through and reevaluate. Take those disappointments and rise above them. Use them as ammo in your arsenal to become a more rounded person and channel those disappointments into optimism and an additional outlook. Optimism in the face of adversity is probably one of the most powerful tools we can wield. Plus, it's free, so there's that. If there's one thing I want my minions to learn from their mom its that we decide how our disappoints affect us; we can choose to grow and learn in them, and that choice makes us strong, makes us thrive, and makes us reach the summit!
"We never know how high we are, until we are called to rise. And then, if we are true to form, our dreams will touch the skies." --Emily Dickinson
