Every time I have to go somewhere where I know there will be a lengthy wait, I absolutely dread having to take my children. The pharmacy, the DMV, the clinic...even a moderately slow restaurant can become a nightmare quickly with a toddler and an infant. There are very few things I would take waiting anywhere non-child oriented over on any given day. I get it, he is three and she is four months; I don't expect them to have an adult level attention span. But is it too much to ask that my son not like the window to the barber shop as we are waiting in the pharmacy waiting area? Or that the baby refrain from having a poop-splosion the minute our number is called at the DMV? So, on days like today when my son is going wild and my daughter is screaming 99.9% of our wait time to pick up a prescription they only had enough to fill half way (after we waited for nearly three hours, welcome to the army) I can think of at least five things that sound so much more appealing than sitting "quietly" (ha ha ha) in a waiting area with them:
1. Dusting
I really, really, really despise dusting. But I would dust the entirety of all the collections at the Smithsonian Museum any day over a waiting room with my kids.
2. Milk a Fish
Fish don't produce milk, so you can about imagine what substance is being collected here. Fun fact: in college I actually got to do this at a fish hatchery during one of my range management wildlife management classes. It's a lot more satisfying than a waiting room with toddlers that's for sure.
3. Pregnancy Test Cattle
Can you tell I am a former farm/ranch animal science/agricultural business major? Another thing I have done that is not that pleasant, but there are days it at very least rivals a waiting room with children. It's a hands on job; let's just say EPT doesn't make a 3 minute test for cattle.
4. Fighting a Rabid Skunk
Admittedly, trying to change my daughter today in the bathroom near our waiting room felt this way. She is teething and upset (can't blame her) and needed a messy diaper removed ASAP. She also hates the baby wipe on her lady area (again, can't blame her) so between the screams of teething and the screams of baby wipe on the privates, I am pretty surprised no one called Child Protective Services.
5. Comfort a Crying Drunk
I am not good at this. I have no idea what to do when a drunk person starts crying because I usually can't make any sense about what they are crying about. My answer has usually been to just leave that scene! However, given the choice between comforting a crying drunk and keeping my son quiet at the DMV, I would take 500 hysterically crying drunks any day.
I love my children with all of my heart, but I just wish there was a better way to do things like the pharmacy or the DMV than waiting for hours on end. Being around my kids makes my day everyday, but it seems like we always have to do something involving a huge wait time on their worst days. Kindergarten. Kindergarten will be my time when I can do these things without fighting tears and ignoring condescending stares from the childless people in the room. Let me just say, thank God for the grandmas and grandpas. Because they love children in a special way that only grandparents can, no matter if the child is their grandchild or not. So, man who read the "Engineer" Magazine with my son today as I comforted my fussy baby, thank you for making the experience a little more bearable.
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