Candy Cane Blues: The Trials of an Allergy Mom

  Having kids is never easy.  I can think of at least a billion things that haven't gone as planned so far in my parenting journey, like the tantrums or the refusal to use a toilet.  What I didn't plan for was a child with a severe allergy/intolerance to dyes and artificial sweeteners.  This has become especially tough as the season for sweets and candy is upon us.

Having a child with any type of allergy is hard, I know because I not only mother a child with an issue but have many allergy issues with foods as well as Celiac's Disease, so I am no knew hand at special dietary needs.  What I am new to is deciding just what our son can and cannot have; usually discovering the cannots when it's too late.  Like today.  Today he woke up happy and playful (at a ridiculously early hour per usual).  We began to get ready for a big day of special Max time on the 1880s Santa Claus Express--a North Pole themed ride on the 1880s train in Hill City, SD.  Then it happened.  He was throwing up.  Then the guessing game begins.  Is it the stomach flu?  Did he eat something inedible?  Was the milk bad?  Oh, wait.  There it is.  That candy cane he had yesterday? Red Dye 40, one of the biggest culprits of his allergy issues.  Coupled with a chocolate Santa containing an artificial sweetener.  Let me just say, Splenda is not our friend.  The worst part?  I thought they were ok.  I know, I know "you didn't know those would bother him!" but that doesn't make it easier to see a child, MY child, sick when it could have been prevented.  Trial and error is not the way to learn, but sadly, it's been how we have to figure this out for him.

Candy canes are a no go for my sweetener and dye sensitive three year old.  Do you know how hard that is for him to understand?  It's hard.  He thankfully is a very understanding little guy; he knows that "that gunna get my tummy sick, mom!" and that's the end of it.  But it's still hard for a little guy to understand.  It's hard when the other kids get candies he can't have.  It's hard when he is given a candy that I have to take away from him.  It's hard when people make fun of parents like me.

I know it's hard to understand allergies or having a child with allergies if it is not something that is a part of life for all.  I worry about school days and how that bridge can be crossed as smoothly as possible.  I am thankful for the friend(s) I have who willingly watches my kids and who genuinely monitor and care about what Max can and cannot eat.  I am thankful his condition is not worse and that we are learning how to work around it.  That doesn't make those few aside comments hurt any less.

From our experience, I have learned some valuable things.  Firstly, I understand how lacking our food system is at explicit labeling of ingredients after having to painstakingly search for in depth ingredient lists for every candy in his Halloween bag, parade candy, or newly candy canes.  This is something I would love to see improved in our future and it is 100% possible if we voice our concerns.  Secondly, I learned that its just not ok to poke fun at eating problems or tease parents for how they feed their children.  This was not something I had done in the past, but I do admit there were times I would chuckle to myself grocery shopping and seeing all the "Organic" and "All Natural" selections that were obviously so without need for additional labeling.  But I get it now.  It is comforting to know that there are products out there I can buy without having to look up ingredients on my cell phone in the grocery store.  It's nice to have that small bit of normalcy while shopping.

Bottom line: if a parent chooses to go gluten free, dairy free, nut free, preservative free, sweetener free, vegan, all meats, vegetarian, feed the child fast food daily, eat deli meats, buy candy bars, buy only fruit, or any other eating choice it's their choice and only their choice and that mom probably doesn't need your input.  Don't tell her she eats weird.  Don't tell her her children eat weird.  Don't poke fun at things like celebrations and birthday parties that she worked damn hard to make sure her child wasn't sick the next day because of food choices.  We don't know everyone's reasons and we don't need to to just be good and understanding people.  I just laugh it off when people poke fun at how my son eats or think I am "weird" or "mean" or "a hippie" for making sure my child's sweets are real ingredients only.  At the end of the day, I'm the one caring for and cleaning up after a sick child who could have had a lot of avoided discomfort and I love that I can help prevent that from happening.  Besides, eliminating dyes and artificial sweeteners doesn't mean my child eats organic, healthy, wonderful, wholesome meals daily.  The kid had a hotdog for breakfast.  It's all about balance.  

The Best Kid-Friendly Christmas Movies That Won't Drive You Nuts!

As Christmas approaches, I have noticed that literally every.single.kids.show has a Christmas special of some sort.  There's PAW Patrol "The Pups Save Christmas!", LEGO "Frozen: See the Northern Lights", "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Christmas", and countless others.  I'm confident that at least 99% of children's TV shows have a Christmas, or (if we are being politically correct) Holiday Special of some sort.  These newer specials are all good and fine, I like PAW Patrol just as much as the next person over 10 years of age, but let's be honest.  None of these specials hold a card to the classic Christmas movies out there!  I love a good holiday special, but some movies just never get old!  Here are the best kid-friendly Christmas movies that won't drive you completely insane.

1. Elf
I love "Elf."  I mean, this may be one of the best Christmas movies EVER MADE.  This is not just because I am a huge fan of Will Farrell comedies, it is just that funny.  Light enough for kids but with enough subtle adult humor to keep adults entertained through the whole movie.  The movie is rated PG by the MPAA for the subtle adult humor.  I personally appreciate the light-heartedness, humor, positive message, and that the movie does not contain bad language.  Win for kids, win for moms!

2. How the Grinch Stole Christmas
All versions of "The Grinch" are awesome.  For smaller kids, the 1966 animated version is a big hit!  Vibrant colors, good time length, and an easy-to-understand message for kiddos.  Also knows as "Dr. Suess's How the Grinch Stole Christmas" the film is 26 minutes long (score for toddler moms!) and is rated PG for....Who knows I would call it a G, but I don't work for the MPAA.  For adults and older kids, ages 8+ the Jim Carrey version is also great!  The content is the same, story goes a bit deeper with the same good lesson to be learned, and provides a great platform for discussing what is really important during Christmas time for kids who are old enough to pick out that level on content.  This film is also rated PG and is still a go-to for me every single Christmas!

3. The Santa Claus
Who doesn't like Tim Allen in "The Santa Claus"?!  This has to easily be one of my absolute favorite Christmas films.  I know, I say that a lot.  It is such a cute and funny story!  Kids loving seeing how the modern Santa came to be, and Tim Allen provides clean, fun humor for parents as well.  Also, I would say the sequels are honestly pretty good too.  That is not something I say about every movie with a sequel--in fact, I often think the sequels are terrible.  So, good job to the writers here!  Great story lines on all three movies.  This movie, and all sequels, are rated PG by the MPAA.

4. Anything Frosty or Rudolph Clay-mation 
There are so many of these to pick just one!  The ratings rage from G to PG depending on the films, but I love them all!  Rudolph rescues the New Year's baby whose parents just let a baby escape, The one with Jack Frost, just all of them.  Watch ALL THE MOVIES in this genre? Line? Series?  I don't know what to refer to it as exactly, but moms: you know what I mean.  Don't deprive your kids of our childhood loves.  Or, in my case, force your child to watch it because it is just that great!



5. It's Christmas, Charlie Brown
It just wouldn't be a holiday in America without a Charlie Brown special.  This just so happens to be my favorite Charlie Brown.  There just isn't anything more wholesome than anything with good ol' Charlie Brown.  The whole film is cute, heartwarming, and filled with great, positive, messages for kids.  There isn't much more to say about it, but any holiday just isn't the same without Charlie Brown, Linus, Lucy, PigPen, and the rest of the gang!  Te production is rated G by the MPAA.

These are just my top five favorites, but there are so many more great Christmas movies that the entire family will enjoy including "The Polar Express," "A Christmas Story," "Christmas Vacation," "Christmas with the Cranks," "Prancer," "Annabelle's Wish," "It's a Wonderful Life," and the Disney version of "A Christmas Carol."  The Mediocre Daddy would be forlorn if I did not include his favorite Christmas movie, "Die Hard" in the mix.  the jury is still out on that one.  I say because the setting happens to be on Christmas, does not necessarily make it a shoe-in as a Christmas Movie, he disagrees.  Bottom line, no matter what film you chose, whether you own it or come across it on television, Netflix, or Hulu, or even YouTube it (we ALL know someone has posted low-quality versions filming the TV from a cell phone camera for others to enjoy) the point is to do something special with your family this season, and curling up with a family-friendly Christmas movie is just the ticket on these cold wintery days!  

Seven Things to Never Get Mom for Christmas

As Christmas time approaches, I know the husbands and children are racking their brains of ideas for what to get mom for Christmas this year.  I can only speak for myself of course, but I know I'm hard to buy for.  I NEVER know what to tell my husband I want, but I know what I, and other moms, don't want for Christmas.  Trust me.  I surveyed people on this one.  As you shop for your wife or mother this season remember this list of the things no mother wants for Christmas.

1. Tupperware 
Just because she says her Tupperware is mismatched is not your cue to purchase this as a gift.  Love is not expressed through food storage units.  Trust me when I say we can purchase our own food storage products, and in reality we probably want to.  I don't care if it is fancy, glass Pyrex or the leak-proof Rubbermaid (ok, both of those are awesome, trust me) we don't want to open this on Christmas day.  Our Tupperware can go another day without the proper lid.

2. Vacuums
Nothing sucks as much as a vacuum for Christmas--see what I did there?  But seriously.  If the gift says "I'm here for you to clean the house, mom!"  We don't want it.  Unless it's a Dyson.  Everyone loves a Dyson.  But, in all seriousness a vacuum is another thing I just need to pick out myself.  Sure, a new vacuum is relatively exciting, but half the excitement is choosing the thing.  Is if good for pet hair?  How easy can I clean it? Can it suck up a goldfish cracker whole?  Is it too loud?  How long is the cord?  These are all things I must ask myself while shopping for my vacuum soul-mate that my husband may not think of in the moment.

3. Clothes in the Wrong Size
Clothes are really tough.  If you know your wife or mother's size to a T, then go for it!  I love getting clothes for a special occasion.  What I do not love is when they are completely the wrong size.  Although it is flattering that my family thinks I am a size small, it is not so flattering when I put that item on.  If you aren't sure if you are looking at me or a stuffed sausage, it goes directly to my "never leave the house, even to get the mail" area of my closet.  It's also not going to make her feel great if the clothes are quite a few sizes to large.  If she loves clothes like me, may a suggest a gift card to her favorite store?  That way you are giving her the gift of a shopping experience (and watch the children for goodness sakes) and ensure the clothes will be the right size.  Win-win.

4. Puppies
Puppies are super cute when they belong to someone else.  If her heart is set on a puppy, go for it.  If she has expressed zero interest in a pet, besides saying a certain breed of puppy is "really cute" do not assume she wants it for Christmas.  The gift of a puppy is the gift of more chores, more cleaning, more worry, even less free time than moms already have, and added things to do everyday.  It's almost like adding another child. Almost.  May I suggest a puppy calendar instead?

5. Terrible Perfume 
Perfume is a hard sell.  When I was about eight, I got my mom a perfume set and I was so proud of myself.  The problem was that the perfume smelled horrible.  It was just awful.  If the nasty smell wasn't enough to make this the worst gift I ever gave my mom, the fact I was very allergic to it just added to its terrible nature.  Or, maybe the allergy was a blessing.  Then my mom had a good excuse to never wear that nasty stuff. It had to be formulated by the devil himself.

6. Nothing
Frankly, I don't care what your excuse is, get her something!  No, a card does not count.  The fact is, moms do everything all day long for everyone and they deserve some type of thanks during the holidays.  I mean, getting a tupperware set is better than getting her nothing--not much better, but it is better.  Trust me when I say all mothers say they want nothing for Christmas or that we don't know what we want because in all the things we do in a day, thinking about what we would like to receive for a gift is one of the last things on our minds.  Find a nice surprise!  Talk to her friends.  Chances are they probably know what extras she would like.  If you can't think of anything, jewelry, wine, and chocolate are always safe options. So is a pedicure.

7.  A Positive Pregnancy Test
When this answer came up in my survey, it won the internet.  We all love our babies more than anything, and for those who are trying for a first or for more this would be the absolute best Christmas present in the world.  But, for those like me, I'd take the vacuum, thanks.  I love my babies, but two surprises later I am stretched very thin for someone who did not expect to have children before 30.  But, here I am kinda rockin' it as the most mediocre mommy out there!  If I were to receive a positive pregnancy test, the mediocre daddy would be receiving a vasectomy.

The bottom line is moms are going to appreciate just being thought of and that you put some thought into a present this Christmas.  It doesn't have to be extravagant or costly.  It doesn't even have to be wrapped; although even Amazon wrapping looks much better under the tree than a Walmart sack does.  Just show mom you love her this season!  Chin up though, if she doesn't like it you always have Valentine's Day to redeem yourself.

Five Easy Steps to Traveling with Small Ones

If there is one thing I would consider myself seasoned at as a mother, it's traveling.  As a military family, I have made international trips with my son just the two of us, we have moved internationally with him and while I was pregnant with our daughter (we just didn't know it yet), have been on many 10+ hour car trips in Europe and in the States, and have packed, and packed, and packed again for little people ages five months to three years.  So, as we were preparing to go to Wyoming to visit family for the holidays, I thought I had it in the bag when it comes to traveling with kids.  I mean, I did a plane ride from Germany to the US with a 5 mo. old baby and back again with a 9 mo. old baby, what can't I handle (in the traveling realm).  I know what you're thinking; "how does she do it?!" Well, here are my five easy steps for traveling with small people under the age of four.

1. Pack Enough Diapers to Last Through a Nuclear Holocaust.
Then pack 1 more bag just in case.  Because it never fails.  It seems like my kids mess/wet their pants exponentially more when traveling in the car than any other time.  I guess it's good to know they are staying hydrated, but seriously!  I rolled into the driveway of my parents house with 1 fresh diaper to spare, praying my daughter wasn't considering making a #2 for a couple hours.  She obliged, thank God.

2. Pack Ample Snacks 
This way, your toddler can decide he hates everything in the snack bag so he can frequent convenience stores along the route to buy more foods he is going to hate upon opening the packages. Apparently gummy bears and granola bars and goldfish crackers obtain an unbearable taste when riding in the car.  So do mini doughnuts, fruit snacks, and cheese sticks.  All of these items will become inedible once the car starts and the only thing that is fit for human consumption are suckers.  Thanks to grandpa, suckers happened.

3. Choose your Restaurants Wisely! 
Kids need some time out of the car on long trips regardless of their age.  However, this doesn't mean that I want to spend 19 hours in a McDonald's Play Place.  Don't get me wrong, I am beyond thankful for the McDonald's Play Places, especially those with wifi, as a great indoor alternative to the park or if I must get some work done in a safe environment like our local McDonald's.  When driving, this is the worst possible option.  We avoid anything with a play place like the plague.  However, there are still some awesome options for kids to eat!  Places with quick service and a kids menu are always a hit.  Really, any place that serves fries and chocolate milk in a timely manner and has a happy hour (when I have a co-pilot) is good by me.  I highly recommend Applebee's and Waffle House for kids dining options on the road.

4. A Fun Activity Bag
Have your child pack the special activity bag with toys, books, etc to do in the car so he can beg to play a game on the Kindle Fire or your cell phone the whole time.  I let him play on the Kindle to keep both of our sanity, and asking him to just "check out the scenary" for 12 hours in one day is a lot to ask of a three year old.  But, we still choose to limit the time he uses these electronics so he doesn't turn into a little demon tablet addict.  So, I give the device about 10%  and then when it "runned out of batteries" that's the time when we stop and mom plugs it in to charge up to another 10%.  It's been an easy and usually fit-free method in my experience thus far.  Oh, that bag of cars, books, tractors, and other toys?  It's still zipped shut in his temporary bedroom as we visit family.  This bag is a perfect way to take up the last 4 inches of trunk space in the vehicle to make sure you are really getting your space worth out of that car!

5. Download Expedia and Hotels.com
Do this so that next time you can say screw it to the road trip and just fly there.  However, on the road these apps come in handy to book a hotel along the route!  The last thing I want to do when the little people are just done being in the car is drive around looking for a hotel with vacancy.  Booking on these sites is quick and easy and can be done in route (not while driving, of course!).  Anything that saves me some time, saves my kids some tears, and makes our hotel stay experience less like we are going to get mugged and more like we are super fancy patrons is something I will do!  But seriously.  Next time, just fly.

Road tripping is one of those things we all want to do in our college and younger years.  If you do it then, awesome!  Let me just say if you wait to do your road tripping until you have children be prepared for things like poop, spilled candy, begging to stop at truck stops, asking "are we there yet?", complaining about the music (although, I can't blame him, my co-pilot's choice of station, Willy's Roadhouse, isn't exactly the most hip station on Sirius), and stopping much more frequently than without children will happen with small ones along.  I am lucky in that my little people are actually very good travelers.  Part of the perks of a military family is that you do travel often whether it is to move or visit family far away, and everything is far away from Wyoming, so they have started their road tripping at a young age.  My best advice?  Take it in stride and don't sweat the small stuff!  Do what makes the trip easiest on you, even if it means your toddler eats blow pops for lunch.  

Real Life as a Veteran's Wife

Tomorrow, Friday November 11, 2016 is Veteran's Day.  Before I was married, I looked forward to all of the Veteran's Day sales to build my winter wardrobe!  It was a day for an assembly where I was thankful for my grandpa's service to our country. I always thought my grandpa's service in WWII would be the extent of my military experience.

Life is different now.

In 2012, I met the funniest, sweetest, hardest working, most amazing man in the world.  We met at his family branding as we were invited since my dad had just employed his uncle.  So, we went to ride and brand calves and that would be that.  I never thought that my life would change forever from that day forward, but it did in the best of ways.  After we began talking, I learned that that guy who had caught my eye during the branding was a staff sergeant in in the United States army.  We got married in December of 2012 and we have been on this wonderful ride every since!

But sometimes there is darkness.  People who don't know often glorify the veteran's wife.  People think my life is similar to the hit TV show "Army Wives."  It isn't.  I mean base housing is definitely not mansions, guys.  It is not glamorous.  The truth is, it can be very hard.  The scars left on the hearts of combat veterans cut deep.

My husband is a combat engineer.  He has experienced loss in ways I cannot even begin to fathom.  Sometimes I am sad and frustrated I was not there during the times of deployment.  He has fought for our beautiful country in the Middle East multiple times and he has come home every time.  He has overcome so many things that I can't even imagine or begin to imagine.  Sometimes it's hard that I wasn't there.  Sometimes I wish I had been there for him. Sometimes I wish our paths had crossed sooner.  Then, sometimes I don't.

There are demons for those who experience war.  I have never experienced anything even remotely close to the things my husband has, and for that, it is undisputed that he is the strongest person I know.  I was not there then.   I was not there when he left or when he came home.  Ok, so I was in middle and high school, but time like is irrelevant.  The fact is, I can't change that.  But, I am here now.  I am here for the bad dreams and the bad days.  I have learned what days are going to be harder than others.  I know the dates.  I don't know the stories and I don't need to.  What I need to be is here and supportive and I pray everyday that I am enough of a rock and support system for him.

Have you ever looked up the rates of suicide in veterans?  It's mind blowing.  In the military world, it's a dark shadow that's all around us.  Not that my husband is suicidal, but when it is all around you, it can be a real worry on those down days.  The days that the nightmares are real, the days that the memories come flooding in.  The days that I just want to hold him close, but I know he needs his space.  Those are the days that are hard because I wasn't there.  I don't know the stories.  I don't know what happened. I don't know the friends and brothers who stood beside him.  I know snippets.  I know what he feels comfortable sharing and that is all I want to know.

There's a lot of wives out there like me.  Whether your husband is still active duty or a veteran when you met, you know how it feels.  You know what it;s like to come after the darkness.  You about the dreams and the sadness.  The loss and the emotions we see our husbands experience periodically.  I know while the self I was before I was married would be shopping the sales tomorrow, the self I am now will be thanking God tomorrow that this soldier is mine.  That he has always come home and for every sacrifice he has made for his country.  I know someone will say a thank you to me for the sacrifices I have made, but the truth is I don't deserve it.  I don't deserve nor want a thank you.  I don't want praise for falling in love.   I don't want praise for marrying a man in the military.  I don't want praise for the sacrifices I have made because compared to his they are so minuscule.  I don't want thanks for loving the person I was put on this earth to love.  Thank him.  Thank every person you know who has served or is serving in the armed forces.  Show compassion to the wives and mothers and husbands and fathers who will never be able to hug their loved one again.  But please, don't thank me.  I am not worthy of being equated the same honor that my husband is so very, very worth of. Thank the soldiers we can do things like vote, like speak our minds, like own firearms, like own and operate our own businesses no matter what it may be, like live in this beautiful and free country.  

Being the wife of a veteran who has seen many wars is not easy, but it is also not thankless.  I see the thanks in him every single day.  I see the thanks in the love he has for the children I was blessed to give him.  I see the thanks in his content for home cooked meals and choice of television show.  I see his thanks in clean and folded laundry.  I see his thanks in the unconditional love he gives me.  Thank a veteran on Veteran's Day.  Shake their hand, hug them!  Give them the thanks they are due.  Let them know what they have provided for our country, for us, is not gone by without notice.  They all deserve it.    

Jimmy Kimmel ain't got Nothin' on Me!

Lately, I have seen lots of posts of people telling their kids they ate all of their Halloween candy as instructed by Jimmy Kimmel.  This is apparently something that has happened for a year or two, but it's my son's first Halloween where he actually went around and trick-or-treated.  I did the honors of staying home with the baby and handing out candy to our handful of trick-or-treaters that rang our doorbell.  But, telling my son I ate all of his candy would mean relatively nothing to him.  First of all, he wouldn't believe me.  Secondly, even if he did, he would probably just move on with life because he really doesn't like it that much.

Except Suckers.

Of ALL the candy in the world, he has to be in love with the stickiest, grossest, drooliest, biggest choking hazard candy known to man.  I find countless sucker sticks all over our house.  Somewhere this kid has a stash; he just has to to have this many sucker sticks.  The stickiness makes him perpetually dirty and sticky.  He is always drooling sticky, sucker drool.  But that's not the worst.  The worst is when I find a red sucker stuck to my nearly white carpet, that's the worst.  So, what did I do when there were millions of suckers from the various Halloween parties, birthdays, and trunk or treats before the big night? 

I filled our candy bowl with candies from other parties.  That's right, the second he stepped out the door with his dad to hid the streets I filled up our candy bowl with every last piece of candy in this house.  Mostly suckers.  I used my son's Halloween candy as our communal Halloween candy.  Know what?  I am not ashamed.  This did two big things for us; 1) we didn't buy a single bag of candy so we saved money and 2) less candy for the toddler.  My son is not a big fan of candy anyway.  Many kinds he is unable to eat and he doesn't like chocolate unless it's ice cream or a small amount of frosting on a donut (but ONLY with sprinkles). Besides, it's not like he wasn't headed out to get even more candy anyway.  

The best part is he didn't even notice.  He didn't even care.  He had his dum-dum mystery sucker and hit the hay.  I took my candy tax out of the new stuff and his dad ate anything with peanuts in it and that was that.  Why did I recycle my son's Halloween candy?!  What kind of mother just takes the candy from their child and gives it to other kids?!  This kind, that's who.  I recycled the candy because he didn't need that much.  I recycled it for the kids who came to our door instead of throwing it in the trash can.  I recycled it because I like to save money.  As long as it was not expired or looked questionable it went right into my red bowl.  

So, Sorry, Jimmy.  Sorry my kid doesn't care about your challenge and sorry that "candy recycle mom" is kind of cooler than your "ha ha I ate it all! Just kidding!"  I enjoy seeing the kids faces light up getting some candy at my door, and, on the off chance my son would have cared, I would have showed up on your doorstep for you to end the tantrum that was occurring.  Don't worry, I am not a creeper I have no idea where you live, Jimmy.  Yea, I still love your show.  No, I won't tell my kiddos I ate their candy--they won't ever believe me anyway because I am a terrible liar.  Yea, I'm the candy recycle mom. And I really, really, rock at it!  

The Top 5 Stresses of Planning your Child's Party

Birthday parties.  On the 27th of this month, my son turned three which required a birthday party.  Sure, he's had two parties previously but a first birthday party is extremely easy, and for his second we were visiting family during an international move from Germany to our current home in Missouri, so a family party was had.  This was my first hoorah with a multi-toddler birthday party.  We have an amazing group of friends here in Missouri, and being this far from family they really are a second family here!  We have had lots of playdates with other kids, even in our house, but the birthday party brought a whole new level of stress that us newbie birthday party moms didn't understand until planning our first go at a large scale birthday party.  Looking back now that the whirl wind of kids 1-4 is over in my house, here are the top five stresses I faced while planning the party:

1.  Games
Birthday parties are supposed to have a game right?  This is supposed to be a no brainer, right?  Wrong.  When your party contains little boys ages 1-4 there are so many considerations with games.  Can it poke an eye out?  Is it a choking hazard?  Will there be punching involved while waiting turns?  Can they focus? Let me just clear up a LOT.  As far as games in this age group go, save your money.  I had planned a pumpkin painting game where I fantasized about the toddlers sitting and creatively finger painting their little mini pumpkins they got to pick out themselves in our backyard "pumpkin patch."  In reality, the kids loved picking a pumpkin (or seven), a few enjoyed the painting for a short amount of time, but running around like drunken crazies was the biggest hit of all.  As well as the random stray cat that decided to crash the party.  At that point, "chase the kitty" was a better entertainment option than sitting to paint a pumpkin.  Live and learn.  The cat is invited back next year.

2. Balloons
Little kids really effin love balloons.  I had planned to get all sorts of cute little balloons so everyone could have one, and get a nice balloon arrangement for my birthday boy to set in the middle of the table.  Know what really happened?  I forgot.  I forgot about balloons until I was showering with just over an hour until party time.  Thank God my parents were here because, barely dressed (I forgot underwear in my haste), wet hair, and all I made a mad dash for Dollar Tree at 45 minutes to party time.  I grabbed three random balloons from the preinflated section, without even looking to see what exact balloons I got other than ensuring they said something about a birthday.  Only to have them home for two minutes before one was inevitably popped and my son exclaimed sadly "my party is ruined!"

3. Cake
Cake seems like it should be a relative no brainer.  You find a baker, go to a local bakery at a grocer, or DIY a nice cake for the theme that you or you child has chosen.  This is not the case when the birthday boy has sweetener sensitivities.  Our son is most likely allergic to any item containing an unnatural sweetener in any form.  We found this out the hard way.  So, I spend time researching, reading labels, knowing what was and was not ok for him and his little tummy.  Because puking all morning the day after your birthday is reserved for the day after the big 21, and he only turned three.  Fondant? Not an option.  Anything containing even trace amounts of Splenda?  Not an option.   It's actually really eye opening to look into all of this and it becomes crucial for my little guy.

4. Do we Feed Them?
Planning a meal for toddlers is hard.  It's hard without the above mentioned eating considerations my son has, but when you also want to ensure toddlers eat, its even harder.  So we had the staples; gluten free macaroni and cheese with a dairy free cheese sauce, lil' smokies sausages, and corn.  I know what you are thinking right now. She's "that mom" that wants everything to be a popular fad way of eating right now.  That is not the case.  The gluten free noodles are because I am part of the global 7% with Celiacs disease and I have 0 control when it comes to delicious macaroni and cheese!  The dairy free cheese was because Max has a friend who is lactose intolerant and I wanted to ensure that this little boy was included in the meal like all of his friends.  The best part is that no one knew the difference!  Sure, I chose a gluten free, low sugar, no artificial dyes/preservatives (I even checked the dang smokies) meal to all of the kids and guess what?  They all loved it!  Minus my child who decided at the last minute that he "didn't like" anything offered to him.

5. Dads?
I will just put this out there as it is.  99% of the time, dads don't really care if they are a part of the party.  My husband was thanking the birthday gods that he didn't have to be amongst 10+ running, screaming, wild toddlers for a few hours.  This never changes.  My parents we able to come celebrate, and during the majority of the party, grandpa took a "nap" with the baby.  Which worked out great because my daughter was cool with being out of the chaos with grandpa for most of the time.  At first  I was sad that my husband would miss out, but once the party was going I knew it was best that he did!  He loves our children so unconditionally, but he may not have loved the kids who were trying to shove a movie into his beloved PS4 quite as much.  Don't worry, the PS4 is safe, and for those wondering, its pretty toddler proof.

Don't get me wrong.  Parties for toddlers are awesome!  In all the chaos and confusion and stress there was the beautiful light that my son got exactly what he wanted for his birthday; his friends.  TO the same token, I got what I needed for his birthday; my friends.  It was wonderful that my parents could be there as well.  Was it stressful?  Without a doubt.  Was it worth it? Without a doubt.  Turning three was an emotional time for me!  It means that I have been a mother now for over three years, considering I was pregnant for nine months prior to having my wonderful boy.  I have held him everyday for three years.  It's been three years since I saw that little face for the first time.  My boy is, without question, no longer a baby and I love him with every part of me.  The party was for him as much as it was for me.  We both needed to celebrate that little boy.  That little life who changed mine forever.  He;s the best, guys.  He is so unique even by toddler standards and I love him unconditionally, even when he does say the "F" word almost hourly.