Birthday parties. On the 27th of this month, my son turned three which required a birthday party. Sure, he's had two parties previously but a first birthday party is extremely easy, and for his second we were visiting family during an international move from Germany to our current home in Missouri, so a family party was had. This was my first hoorah with a multi-toddler birthday party. We have an amazing group of friends here in Missouri, and being this far from family they really are a second family here! We have had lots of playdates with other kids, even in our house, but the birthday party brought a whole new level of stress that us newbie birthday party moms didn't understand until planning our first go at a large scale birthday party. Looking back now that the whirl wind of kids 1-4 is over in my house, here are the top five stresses I faced while planning the party:
1. Games
Birthday parties are supposed to have a game right? This is supposed to be a no brainer, right? Wrong. When your party contains little boys ages 1-4 there are so many considerations with games. Can it poke an eye out? Is it a choking hazard? Will there be punching involved while waiting turns? Can they focus? Let me just clear up a LOT. As far as games in this age group go, save your money. I had planned a pumpkin painting game where I fantasized about the toddlers sitting and creatively finger painting their little mini pumpkins they got to pick out themselves in our backyard "pumpkin patch." In reality, the kids loved picking a pumpkin (or seven), a few enjoyed the painting for a short amount of time, but running around like drunken crazies was the biggest hit of all. As well as the random stray cat that decided to crash the party. At that point, "chase the kitty" was a better entertainment option than sitting to paint a pumpkin. Live and learn. The cat is invited back next year.
2. Balloons
Little kids really effin love balloons. I had planned to get all sorts of cute little balloons so everyone could have one, and get a nice balloon arrangement for my birthday boy to set in the middle of the table. Know what really happened? I forgot. I forgot about balloons until I was showering with just over an hour until party time. Thank God my parents were here because, barely dressed (I forgot underwear in my haste), wet hair, and all I made a mad dash for Dollar Tree at 45 minutes to party time. I grabbed three random balloons from the preinflated section, without even looking to see what exact balloons I got other than ensuring they said something about a birthday. Only to have them home for two minutes before one was inevitably popped and my son exclaimed sadly "my party is ruined!"
3. Cake
Cake seems like it should be a relative no brainer. You find a baker, go to a local bakery at a grocer, or DIY a nice cake for the theme that you or you child has chosen. This is not the case when the birthday boy has sweetener sensitivities. Our son is most likely allergic to any item containing an unnatural sweetener in any form. We found this out the hard way. So, I spend time researching, reading labels, knowing what was and was not ok for him and his little tummy. Because puking all morning the day after your birthday is reserved for the day after the big 21, and he only turned three. Fondant? Not an option. Anything containing even trace amounts of Splenda? Not an option. It's actually really eye opening to look into all of this and it becomes crucial for my little guy.
4. Do we Feed Them?
Planning a meal for toddlers is hard. It's hard without the above mentioned eating considerations my son has, but when you also want to ensure toddlers eat, its even harder. So we had the staples; gluten free macaroni and cheese with a dairy free cheese sauce, lil' smokies sausages, and corn. I know what you are thinking right now. She's "that mom" that wants everything to be a popular fad way of eating right now. That is not the case. The gluten free noodles are because I am part of the global 7% with Celiacs disease and I have 0 control when it comes to delicious macaroni and cheese! The dairy free cheese was because Max has a friend who is lactose intolerant and I wanted to ensure that this little boy was included in the meal like all of his friends. The best part is that no one knew the difference! Sure, I chose a gluten free, low sugar, no artificial dyes/preservatives (I even checked the dang smokies) meal to all of the kids and guess what? They all loved it! Minus my child who decided at the last minute that he "didn't like" anything offered to him.
5. Dads?
I will just put this out there as it is. 99% of the time, dads don't really care if they are a part of the party. My husband was thanking the birthday gods that he didn't have to be amongst 10+ running, screaming, wild toddlers for a few hours. This never changes. My parents we able to come celebrate, and during the majority of the party, grandpa took a "nap" with the baby. Which worked out great because my daughter was cool with being out of the chaos with grandpa for most of the time. At first I was sad that my husband would miss out, but once the party was going I knew it was best that he did! He loves our children so unconditionally, but he may not have loved the kids who were trying to shove a movie into his beloved PS4 quite as much. Don't worry, the PS4 is safe, and for those wondering, its pretty toddler proof.
Don't get me wrong. Parties for toddlers are awesome! In all the chaos and confusion and stress there was the beautiful light that my son got exactly what he wanted for his birthday; his friends. TO the same token, I got what I needed for his birthday; my friends. It was wonderful that my parents could be there as well. Was it stressful? Without a doubt. Was it worth it? Without a doubt. Turning three was an emotional time for me! It means that I have been a mother now for over three years, considering I was pregnant for nine months prior to having my wonderful boy. I have held him everyday for three years. It's been three years since I saw that little face for the first time. My boy is, without question, no longer a baby and I love him with every part of me. The party was for him as much as it was for me. We both needed to celebrate that little boy. That little life who changed mine forever. He;s the best, guys. He is so unique even by toddler standards and I love him unconditionally, even when he does say the "F" word almost hourly.
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