Jimmy Kimmel ain't got Nothin' on Me!

Lately, I have seen lots of posts of people telling their kids they ate all of their Halloween candy as instructed by Jimmy Kimmel.  This is apparently something that has happened for a year or two, but it's my son's first Halloween where he actually went around and trick-or-treated.  I did the honors of staying home with the baby and handing out candy to our handful of trick-or-treaters that rang our doorbell.  But, telling my son I ate all of his candy would mean relatively nothing to him.  First of all, he wouldn't believe me.  Secondly, even if he did, he would probably just move on with life because he really doesn't like it that much.

Except Suckers.

Of ALL the candy in the world, he has to be in love with the stickiest, grossest, drooliest, biggest choking hazard candy known to man.  I find countless sucker sticks all over our house.  Somewhere this kid has a stash; he just has to to have this many sucker sticks.  The stickiness makes him perpetually dirty and sticky.  He is always drooling sticky, sucker drool.  But that's not the worst.  The worst is when I find a red sucker stuck to my nearly white carpet, that's the worst.  So, what did I do when there were millions of suckers from the various Halloween parties, birthdays, and trunk or treats before the big night? 

I filled our candy bowl with candies from other parties.  That's right, the second he stepped out the door with his dad to hid the streets I filled up our candy bowl with every last piece of candy in this house.  Mostly suckers.  I used my son's Halloween candy as our communal Halloween candy.  Know what?  I am not ashamed.  This did two big things for us; 1) we didn't buy a single bag of candy so we saved money and 2) less candy for the toddler.  My son is not a big fan of candy anyway.  Many kinds he is unable to eat and he doesn't like chocolate unless it's ice cream or a small amount of frosting on a donut (but ONLY with sprinkles). Besides, it's not like he wasn't headed out to get even more candy anyway.  

The best part is he didn't even notice.  He didn't even care.  He had his dum-dum mystery sucker and hit the hay.  I took my candy tax out of the new stuff and his dad ate anything with peanuts in it and that was that.  Why did I recycle my son's Halloween candy?!  What kind of mother just takes the candy from their child and gives it to other kids?!  This kind, that's who.  I recycled the candy because he didn't need that much.  I recycled it for the kids who came to our door instead of throwing it in the trash can.  I recycled it because I like to save money.  As long as it was not expired or looked questionable it went right into my red bowl.  

So, Sorry, Jimmy.  Sorry my kid doesn't care about your challenge and sorry that "candy recycle mom" is kind of cooler than your "ha ha I ate it all! Just kidding!"  I enjoy seeing the kids faces light up getting some candy at my door, and, on the off chance my son would have cared, I would have showed up on your doorstep for you to end the tantrum that was occurring.  Don't worry, I am not a creeper I have no idea where you live, Jimmy.  Yea, I still love your show.  No, I won't tell my kiddos I ate their candy--they won't ever believe me anyway because I am a terrible liar.  Yea, I'm the candy recycle mom. And I really, really, rock at it!