Sometimes, being a mother is a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. If you stay home with your children, then you must automatically be this crafty, spotless, play-with-the-kids all day, baking, soap opera watching, yoga pant wearing. messy hair wielding lady. If you return the workforce out of the home after having children sometimes society views you as less nurturing, more ambitious, less involved, super feminist, uber girl power woman. Well, you know what? Stereotyping has NEVER been my thing.
Be whatever the hell you want to be and stop caring about what others are going to think. If you want to stay at home with your children, do it! For many families this is actually a more economical decision. For example, for me to merit paying for two children in childcare facilities I would need to make approximately $26,000/yr to off-set long term childcare costs. It adds up! I do not advocate lower childcare costs because 1) I am a firm believer in that "you get what you pay for" and 2) I want the people taking care of my little cuties to be fairly compensated for the work they are doing. Some women would just rather stay home with their children, and that is honestly the only reason they need. Being a stay at home mom is awesome! But, there are times I miss the working world and want to reenter business again. If you want to return to work after having children, whether its after three weeks or three years, do it! From experience, it's hard to give up your dream career. The thing is; some mom's need to work. We don't know everyone's stories. Some women need that to feel empowered, to stay mentally and emotionally stable, or to provide for their families. That's ok! Bottom line do what makes you happiest.
There are so many ways to feel valued as a mother. No matter if you are a SAHM, a work from home mom, or a work outside of the home mom, sometimes we all feel that motherhood can be a somewhat thankless job. I mean, my child has never once thanked for wiping his butt. Find what makes you feel valued. Be a boss. Whether it's the boss of yourself, the boss of your home, the boss of your own business, or the boss at work just do it. Do something, ANYTHING to know that you are making a difference. The only person who can change how we feel, is ultimately ourselves. Make crafts like a boss. Play with your children like a boss. Cook like a boss. Drink wine like a boss. Sell Younique, Scentsy, LuLaRoe, Stella&Dot, Norwex, Thirty-One and whatever else like a boss. Go to your job like a boss. Boss like a boss. Do what makes you happy like a boss.
Lastly, be whatever the hell you want to be. I'm not going to sit here and spin stories about how easy its been being a student and a mother because well, that would be completely delusional. It's been HARD. It's been sleepless, tear-filled, frustrating, thankless, and stressful every single semester since my son was born; which has been my entire time pursuing my bachelor's degree. But that doesn't mean I can't be whatever I want to be. It doesn't mean you can't be whatever you want to be. Things aren't just going to fall into your lap, unless you'ree Paris Hilton, you have to work for it! So, work for whatever you want to be. Work for being a good budgeter. Work for being a good cook. Work for being the best game player. Work for a promotion in your at home direct sales business. Work to have the best garden. Work to start your own business (current status over here!). Work to get the job you want. Work to get a promotion or a raise. Work to open that wine.
If I can do it, so can you. Be an amazing mom. Be an amazing boss. Be whatever the hell you want to be. Afterall, we all went through childbirth and/or the newborn and toddler years. We got this!
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
Sunday, September 25, 2016
Like Mother Like Daughter: 10 Ways I'm Turning into my Mother.
I've always had a good relationship with my mom. Yes, you can ask her, she would probably agree. Even during my pre-teen, teen, and single, young adult years we got along well. Sure, we had our tense times (these often involved 4-H sewing projects), but we also did lots of fun things just the two of us! However, as much as I have always loved my mom, I never in a million years thought I would actually turn into her when I had children of my own. As I get older and settle more into motherhood, I hear my mother come out of my mouth and see her in my actions multiple times a day. There are definitely worse things I could do. But, here's the ten things that 18 year old Courtney would have joked about....and now present-day Courtney does on the regular:
1. I Own Fiesta Ware.
...and I LOVE my Fiesta ware! Ok, so this was a pre-children decision. When you decide to get married about two months after getting engaged, there isn't exactly a lot of time to do a registry and look into all the different options. So, I went with what I knew was good; what mom had. I still love my blue fiesta ware! I draw the line at a kitchen filled with chicken decor though, you can keep that one all to yourself, mom! The rooster kitchen suits you well.
2. Days.
I don't mean "days" as in a 24 hour period; I'm talking about the popular daytime soap, Days of Our Lives on NBC, usually at 1 P.M. When our son was a baby, I was invested in Days. I knew the characters, was hooked by the sexually driven, murderous, mysterious plot lines and had all my own theories of what was going to happen to who (some of which I was totally right about by the way). You know who else has a Days obsession? That's right, my mom. She's watched the show since before I was born (as she's made me aware of many times). Even as a young child, I remember her taking a daily break because she had to see if Stefano was really dead, what was going on with Bo and Hope, and whose baby was going to get stolen next. I used to tease her about her Days obsession, and now we discuss it. I have missed a few months now, as two babies just hasn't given me the break to catch up on the dirt that's going on. But I know one thing, Stefano probably isn't dead yet.
3. HGTV
If the first two didn't give me a clue the apple didn't fall far from the tree, this sure did. I might as well just apologize right now for making fun of my mom's HGTV viewing during my time at home. So, mom, I'm sorry, and thank you for not rubbing it in my face that I now am hooked on things like House Hunters and Tiny House Living. Seriously though. She knew something I didn't with this one (ok, she knows a LOT I don't). Who doesn't love Chip and Joanna Gaines? That's what I thought.
4. Sam's Club is Life
Growing up, whenever I was drug to Sam's Club with my mom, I usually did my best to talk my dad into going around to find the sample food stands with me. He always obliged. Now, I LOVE TO GO TO SAM'S CLUB! Again, mama always knows best. Looking back, little Courtney really should have appreciated her mom's love of Sam's Club more than I did. Thankfully, the karma hasn't hit there yet, because my son loves Sam's Club. I think he thinks its a secret society or something. I may not have appreciated it back then, but I learned from mom that you just can't go wrong at Sam's Club.
5. Grandma Time Rocks
I cherish grandma time, whether its with my mom or my mother-in-law. My mom was the same. She always made sure that we did things for my grandmas and that I spent time with them, especially my grandma that lived in our hometown, as often as possible. I am so thankful for this because I have some many wonderful memories with my grandmas. I find myself feeling the same way in terms of the importance of grandparent time. Plus, it usually means the man I married and I can sneak in a date night when grandmas are around, so that's a bonus!
6. CrockPots
I love my CrockPot. There is nothing better when I want to make a home cooked meal but don't have a lot of time or need to get it in while my small people are content. Any guesses where I got my love for the CrockPot? I'll give you three tries... Here's a hint; every time I am going to try a new CrockPot recipe, I usually dial up mom to see if I'm doing it right!
7. I Own a Robe
My mom has always had a robe she wears in the mornings, and I do now too. So mine is zebra striped and hers is usually a solid color, but the basic idea is there! I own a robe because my mom does and it seems like the only acceptable way to start the day is to dawn your robe and get some coffee. Plus, it prolongs the time until I feel like I must put on a bra, so that's always a win in my book. A robe does, in fact, qualify as getting dressed in my world. Wonder who I learned that from?
8. Wine
So, I may actually drink wine more than my mom does, but I knew what kinds to try because mom likes white zinfandel so therefore it HAS to be good. Once again, she wasn't wrong. Do you know how awesome it is to be old enough to be able to do a wine tasting with your mom? It's in the top 10 best things adults can do with their parents, that's how great it is. Wineries are the ultimate girl day, and I cherish all the girl's days I get with my mom, because as an adult that has had an ocean between us and currently 18 hours, it's nice to do fun things together when we can. What's more fun than wine?! Nothing is the correct answer.
9. No Cussing (uhhh.... less? less cussing. Definitely less).
I'm not 100% like my mom in this boat. I still enjoy using a well placed profanity daily. But, now that I have a child who picks up on those and drops the F bomb during Catholic Mass or calls his dinosaurs "assholes" as they block the road on his car rug, I definitely say them much less than I used to. Growing up, I remember my mom rarely cussing. In fact, I can only remember one specific incidence where I heard her use the F word, and it was directed at my 4-H pigs. Mom definitely has me beat in this field, but I find my vocabulary in general becoming more and more Linda-esque.
10. My Child Lays with Us
Well, time for me to eat crow, and a BIG serving of it. I needed my mom to lay with me, or sleep in bed with them until I was probably...10 or so. Maybe longer. Even when I was at my childhood home and pregnant with our first child waiting to join my husband in Germany, I would go lay with my mom or have her come lay with me to watch TV. She always told me not to let my kids do that, and I was adamant that I would definitely not allow my kids to sleep in our bed or lay with them in theirs. Then....my son had severe RSV at 15 months and all of that went straight down the toilet. He's almost 3 and still comes to lay with us every night, and I love it. I won't make him stop anytime soon because I love cuddling with him. When his sister is big enough, I'm sure she will join us and our queen size bed may need an upgrade. I think my mom didn't mind me coming to snuggle at night either, or snuggling me to sleep. If she did, she hid it so well.
The truth is, I will never be half the mom my mom was, and is, to me. She's the best one I know! But, I've got to learn from the best and as much as I used to think I would never be like my mom, I hear her come out of my mouth, see her in my actions, and hear her in my head everyday. Because let's be honest. At least a thousand times a day I ask myself WWMD? What would mama do?
1. I Own Fiesta Ware.
...and I LOVE my Fiesta ware! Ok, so this was a pre-children decision. When you decide to get married about two months after getting engaged, there isn't exactly a lot of time to do a registry and look into all the different options. So, I went with what I knew was good; what mom had. I still love my blue fiesta ware! I draw the line at a kitchen filled with chicken decor though, you can keep that one all to yourself, mom! The rooster kitchen suits you well.
2. Days.
I don't mean "days" as in a 24 hour period; I'm talking about the popular daytime soap, Days of Our Lives on NBC, usually at 1 P.M. When our son was a baby, I was invested in Days. I knew the characters, was hooked by the sexually driven, murderous, mysterious plot lines and had all my own theories of what was going to happen to who (some of which I was totally right about by the way). You know who else has a Days obsession? That's right, my mom. She's watched the show since before I was born (as she's made me aware of many times). Even as a young child, I remember her taking a daily break because she had to see if Stefano was really dead, what was going on with Bo and Hope, and whose baby was going to get stolen next. I used to tease her about her Days obsession, and now we discuss it. I have missed a few months now, as two babies just hasn't given me the break to catch up on the dirt that's going on. But I know one thing, Stefano probably isn't dead yet.
3. HGTV
If the first two didn't give me a clue the apple didn't fall far from the tree, this sure did. I might as well just apologize right now for making fun of my mom's HGTV viewing during my time at home. So, mom, I'm sorry, and thank you for not rubbing it in my face that I now am hooked on things like House Hunters and Tiny House Living. Seriously though. She knew something I didn't with this one (ok, she knows a LOT I don't). Who doesn't love Chip and Joanna Gaines? That's what I thought.
4. Sam's Club is Life
Growing up, whenever I was drug to Sam's Club with my mom, I usually did my best to talk my dad into going around to find the sample food stands with me. He always obliged. Now, I LOVE TO GO TO SAM'S CLUB! Again, mama always knows best. Looking back, little Courtney really should have appreciated her mom's love of Sam's Club more than I did. Thankfully, the karma hasn't hit there yet, because my son loves Sam's Club. I think he thinks its a secret society or something. I may not have appreciated it back then, but I learned from mom that you just can't go wrong at Sam's Club.
5. Grandma Time Rocks
I cherish grandma time, whether its with my mom or my mother-in-law. My mom was the same. She always made sure that we did things for my grandmas and that I spent time with them, especially my grandma that lived in our hometown, as often as possible. I am so thankful for this because I have some many wonderful memories with my grandmas. I find myself feeling the same way in terms of the importance of grandparent time. Plus, it usually means the man I married and I can sneak in a date night when grandmas are around, so that's a bonus!
6. CrockPots
I love my CrockPot. There is nothing better when I want to make a home cooked meal but don't have a lot of time or need to get it in while my small people are content. Any guesses where I got my love for the CrockPot? I'll give you three tries... Here's a hint; every time I am going to try a new CrockPot recipe, I usually dial up mom to see if I'm doing it right!
7. I Own a Robe
My mom has always had a robe she wears in the mornings, and I do now too. So mine is zebra striped and hers is usually a solid color, but the basic idea is there! I own a robe because my mom does and it seems like the only acceptable way to start the day is to dawn your robe and get some coffee. Plus, it prolongs the time until I feel like I must put on a bra, so that's always a win in my book. A robe does, in fact, qualify as getting dressed in my world. Wonder who I learned that from?
8. Wine
So, I may actually drink wine more than my mom does, but I knew what kinds to try because mom likes white zinfandel so therefore it HAS to be good. Once again, she wasn't wrong. Do you know how awesome it is to be old enough to be able to do a wine tasting with your mom? It's in the top 10 best things adults can do with their parents, that's how great it is. Wineries are the ultimate girl day, and I cherish all the girl's days I get with my mom, because as an adult that has had an ocean between us and currently 18 hours, it's nice to do fun things together when we can. What's more fun than wine?! Nothing is the correct answer.
9. No Cussing (uhhh.... less? less cussing. Definitely less).
I'm not 100% like my mom in this boat. I still enjoy using a well placed profanity daily. But, now that I have a child who picks up on those and drops the F bomb during Catholic Mass or calls his dinosaurs "assholes" as they block the road on his car rug, I definitely say them much less than I used to. Growing up, I remember my mom rarely cussing. In fact, I can only remember one specific incidence where I heard her use the F word, and it was directed at my 4-H pigs. Mom definitely has me beat in this field, but I find my vocabulary in general becoming more and more Linda-esque.
10. My Child Lays with Us
Well, time for me to eat crow, and a BIG serving of it. I needed my mom to lay with me, or sleep in bed with them until I was probably...10 or so. Maybe longer. Even when I was at my childhood home and pregnant with our first child waiting to join my husband in Germany, I would go lay with my mom or have her come lay with me to watch TV. She always told me not to let my kids do that, and I was adamant that I would definitely not allow my kids to sleep in our bed or lay with them in theirs. Then....my son had severe RSV at 15 months and all of that went straight down the toilet. He's almost 3 and still comes to lay with us every night, and I love it. I won't make him stop anytime soon because I love cuddling with him. When his sister is big enough, I'm sure she will join us and our queen size bed may need an upgrade. I think my mom didn't mind me coming to snuggle at night either, or snuggling me to sleep. If she did, she hid it so well.
The truth is, I will never be half the mom my mom was, and is, to me. She's the best one I know! But, I've got to learn from the best and as much as I used to think I would never be like my mom, I hear her come out of my mouth, see her in my actions, and hear her in my head everyday. Because let's be honest. At least a thousand times a day I ask myself WWMD? What would mama do?
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Babies are Super Cute! Because They're Gross.
Most of my posts contain the antics and everyday life of a mom with a toddler. Because, let's face it. We all know that he rules the roost, even though we tell ourselves we are in control. But, I also am the mother of the most beautiful (I'm completely biased), happiest, sweetest little baby girl in the whole world. She is so sweetly adorable it makes my heart melt, but she is also completely gross. Let's be real. Babies have to be cute because 99% of what they do includes bodily fluids and it's just plain nasty.
I am a firm believer that all babies are cute. Every single tiny, lovable, innocent, sweet bundle of joy across the globe is just as cute as can be. They are also equally as gross across the board. If there is anything I have learned in my time as a mom, it's that you get pretty used to what comes out of your child. Because it happens all.day.long., especially if there is an infant involved.
When we took our Welcome to Parenthood! class, we were given the impression that baby feces (poop) has no smell until the child begins eating foods. Lies. This information is so false I think the instructor put it in there for shits and giggles (did you see what I did there?). Baby poop, is in fact, the second worst smelling thing on the planet. It rivals a bacterial infection of the gut of cattle known as purple gut, and follows my husband's gas in the line of worst scents imaginable. How does such a sweet, innocent, small person produce such masses of the worst smelling substance on the planet?! If the poop isn't enough, it seems that she always must have a bowel movement in a public setting. And let me be the first to tell you, this girl is GASSY. So much so that when she passed gas loudly in Walmart, the older woman in front of us in line embarrassingly nudged her husband and told him to "go do that in the bathroom!" Sorry that my daughter farts like an older man and got you in trouble, sir...
If the poop wasn't enough, I swear she chooses to pee the minute the diaper is off. It's like she feels a fresh breeze and has to let the flood gates open. This isn't too bad, because after the pee showers from our son, we have gotten pretty good and the fast diaper change. When this becomes a problem is during a late night, dark diaper change. That's right. She has soaked my side of the bed in baby pee more nights than I can count during a dimly lit diaper change. Since waking my husband is like waking a hibernating bear from a deep slumber, I just go back to bed on my damp, baby fluid soaked sheets and deal with it in the morning. I am a champ at changing bed sheets these days!
That's about everything babies can do in the diaper that is pretty nasty. By now, I have gotten used to the fact that, at some point, you may have diaper remains on your hands after a change and that it can get pretty dirty most days. But, then there's the spit-up.
Don't let the cutesy term fool you; this is puke. And babies puke all day everyday for a LONG time. Sometimes we have the burp rag at the ready for the typical after feeding spit-ups, but refluxy babies, which both of mine have been, tend to throw up at any given moment. Especially if: 1) you are wearing black, 2) you have some place to be, and/or 3) you are at an establishment that serves food. The third one seems to be when she decides to REALLY give it her all. It has to be a health code violation. Do you know what kind of looks they give you when you go to the counter of the coffee shop and ask "can I have some paper towels? My daughter just left half her lunch on the floor." Don't worry, all. It's normal. It's gross. It's babies.
If you are a mom like me, you can fully relate to all of these disgusting things that our cute babies do. If you're a mom-to-be or are considering babies in your future, I encourage you to attend a college drinking party and take care of all the sick people while completely sober. Then, know that its on a smaller scale for a cuter person when it's a baby!
We won't even talk about the multitude of gross that happens to get those cute little blessings into this world.
I am a firm believer that all babies are cute. Every single tiny, lovable, innocent, sweet bundle of joy across the globe is just as cute as can be. They are also equally as gross across the board. If there is anything I have learned in my time as a mom, it's that you get pretty used to what comes out of your child. Because it happens all.day.long., especially if there is an infant involved.
When we took our Welcome to Parenthood! class, we were given the impression that baby feces (poop) has no smell until the child begins eating foods. Lies. This information is so false I think the instructor put it in there for shits and giggles (did you see what I did there?). Baby poop, is in fact, the second worst smelling thing on the planet. It rivals a bacterial infection of the gut of cattle known as purple gut, and follows my husband's gas in the line of worst scents imaginable. How does such a sweet, innocent, small person produce such masses of the worst smelling substance on the planet?! If the poop isn't enough, it seems that she always must have a bowel movement in a public setting. And let me be the first to tell you, this girl is GASSY. So much so that when she passed gas loudly in Walmart, the older woman in front of us in line embarrassingly nudged her husband and told him to "go do that in the bathroom!" Sorry that my daughter farts like an older man and got you in trouble, sir...
If the poop wasn't enough, I swear she chooses to pee the minute the diaper is off. It's like she feels a fresh breeze and has to let the flood gates open. This isn't too bad, because after the pee showers from our son, we have gotten pretty good and the fast diaper change. When this becomes a problem is during a late night, dark diaper change. That's right. She has soaked my side of the bed in baby pee more nights than I can count during a dimly lit diaper change. Since waking my husband is like waking a hibernating bear from a deep slumber, I just go back to bed on my damp, baby fluid soaked sheets and deal with it in the morning. I am a champ at changing bed sheets these days!
That's about everything babies can do in the diaper that is pretty nasty. By now, I have gotten used to the fact that, at some point, you may have diaper remains on your hands after a change and that it can get pretty dirty most days. But, then there's the spit-up.
Don't let the cutesy term fool you; this is puke. And babies puke all day everyday for a LONG time. Sometimes we have the burp rag at the ready for the typical after feeding spit-ups, but refluxy babies, which both of mine have been, tend to throw up at any given moment. Especially if: 1) you are wearing black, 2) you have some place to be, and/or 3) you are at an establishment that serves food. The third one seems to be when she decides to REALLY give it her all. It has to be a health code violation. Do you know what kind of looks they give you when you go to the counter of the coffee shop and ask "can I have some paper towels? My daughter just left half her lunch on the floor." Don't worry, all. It's normal. It's gross. It's babies.
If you are a mom like me, you can fully relate to all of these disgusting things that our cute babies do. If you're a mom-to-be or are considering babies in your future, I encourage you to attend a college drinking party and take care of all the sick people while completely sober. Then, know that its on a smaller scale for a cuter person when it's a baby!
We won't even talk about the multitude of gross that happens to get those cute little blessings into this world.
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
"Back to School" will Come, Eventually
It's September, and like every other year around this time, my Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter are flooded with back-to-school photos. All the stores advertise the specials and savings on school supplies, clothes, electronics and just about everything else that might be remotely related to going to school. Unfortunately, this does not include diapers, formula, or wine.
Truth is, I have no idea about this whole back to school thing. We aren't to that season of life yet. But, there are days I find myself slightly jealous of the mom's who get to send the babes off to school for a few hours everyday. The thoughts of "how many more years?" "Can it just be time already?" "I wonder if Catholic school would take him, even though he doesn't use a toilet yet?" thoughts fleet in and out of my brain. People would tell me "don't wish the baby/toddler years away, they go so quickly!" But they don't. Sure, in 15 years I will send my baby boy to his first day of school for the last time and at that point I will wonder where all the time has gone. Not today. Not right now. Not in the trenches of toddlerhood. Some days I consider preschool and daycare programs for him, but most of those in our area cost more than my college courses ever did. If the word "tuition" is used on a preschool information sheet, I just stop reading right there.
Some days I'm jealous. Some days I'm worn to the bone. Some days I look at the school bus and wish I was waiting to pickup my blue-eyed, blonde, enthusiastic little boy and asking what his day was like. And some days we play in the pool. I know I am not alone in those thoughts of "please, just go to school already!" But we have good days so much more than tough ones. We have days where we can go play in the pool all afternoon without any obligations. We have days where we can have our picnics at noon on the patio furniture. We can extend our summer into fall for as long as the weather decides to be blazing hot. We can watch a movie in the heat of the day. We can eat ice cream for lunch and have popcorn whenever we like. Best of all, I can hug him whenever I want to. Okay let me rephrase that; I can force him to hug me whenever I want a hug from him! There will be mornings when we rush to get into the car or to the bus stop. But for right now, the biggest hurry in the morning is when he announces that he "is going to get the kniiiivvvvveeeeesssss!" (don't worry, he cannot access the knives, he just thinks he ought to be a chef). There will come days when I have to shake a teen boy from bed in the morning, and those days I will still hear that happy little voice in my head adamantly yelling "GET UP, MOM! IT'S MY TV TIME!!" Because God forbid we EVER miss Mickey Mouse at 6 A.M. On second thought, maybe that will be my approach for waking him later on in life.
Sometimes I am so ready to be a school mom, a sports mom, a 4-H mom that I loose track of the mom I need to be right now. The time will come for all of the rest of that. For now, I can just be the mom who plays in the pool with a giggly little boy. The mom who let's him have ice cream for lunch, because that's what I want too. The mom who forces five more minutes in bed before getting up for the day. The mom who watches Wall-E 23,989,432 times a week. The mom who wonders who the heck chooses what the Mousekatools will be today. The mom of a sweet little boy, the world's sweetest big brother, and most enthusiastic, stubborn, eager, loving child I have ever met. I have to take a step back and remind myself that, even though it certainly does not feel like it right now, especially on our tough days, that this time of innocence, curiosity, unbridled love, and hilarious mispronunciations will end and the next chapter of our life story will begin.
And some days, we play in the pool, while other kids are sitting in class, we are splashing, and spraying the hose, and laughing.
And, for the days that I do wish he was just in school already, there is wine and a blow up pool ($39.95 at Sam's Club, folks).
Truth is, I have no idea about this whole back to school thing. We aren't to that season of life yet. But, there are days I find myself slightly jealous of the mom's who get to send the babes off to school for a few hours everyday. The thoughts of "how many more years?" "Can it just be time already?" "I wonder if Catholic school would take him, even though he doesn't use a toilet yet?" thoughts fleet in and out of my brain. People would tell me "don't wish the baby/toddler years away, they go so quickly!" But they don't. Sure, in 15 years I will send my baby boy to his first day of school for the last time and at that point I will wonder where all the time has gone. Not today. Not right now. Not in the trenches of toddlerhood. Some days I consider preschool and daycare programs for him, but most of those in our area cost more than my college courses ever did. If the word "tuition" is used on a preschool information sheet, I just stop reading right there.
Some days I'm jealous. Some days I'm worn to the bone. Some days I look at the school bus and wish I was waiting to pickup my blue-eyed, blonde, enthusiastic little boy and asking what his day was like. And some days we play in the pool. I know I am not alone in those thoughts of "please, just go to school already!" But we have good days so much more than tough ones. We have days where we can go play in the pool all afternoon without any obligations. We have days where we can have our picnics at noon on the patio furniture. We can extend our summer into fall for as long as the weather decides to be blazing hot. We can watch a movie in the heat of the day. We can eat ice cream for lunch and have popcorn whenever we like. Best of all, I can hug him whenever I want to. Okay let me rephrase that; I can force him to hug me whenever I want a hug from him! There will be mornings when we rush to get into the car or to the bus stop. But for right now, the biggest hurry in the morning is when he announces that he "is going to get the kniiiivvvvveeeeesssss!" (don't worry, he cannot access the knives, he just thinks he ought to be a chef). There will come days when I have to shake a teen boy from bed in the morning, and those days I will still hear that happy little voice in my head adamantly yelling "GET UP, MOM! IT'S MY TV TIME!!" Because God forbid we EVER miss Mickey Mouse at 6 A.M. On second thought, maybe that will be my approach for waking him later on in life.
And some days, we play in the pool, while other kids are sitting in class, we are splashing, and spraying the hose, and laughing.
And, for the days that I do wish he was just in school already, there is wine and a blow up pool ($39.95 at Sam's Club, folks).
Monday, September 12, 2016
"You Look so Tired!" and Other Non-Compliment Compliments
Every mom has heard the non-compliment compliments before. I truly believe that those giving these "compliments" mean well, but the truth is they sometimes point out all the insecurities mothers, especially mothers of multiple children under 5, experience everyday. Personally, not much gets to me. I tend to take them all with a grain of salt, but the thoughts going through my mind at the non-compliment compliments don't always match my smile and friendly reply.
1. "You look so tired!"
Thank you, grocery store patron. I'm not sure if the uncombed hair or the recycled eye makeup from last night gave it away, but yes, I am tired. So much so that I left the house with two different shoes on the other day. And not two that look similar; one gold sequin sparkles and one dark brown shoe. I have a toddler and a baby who, though usually good kiddos, are busy and don't appreciate naps or a full, uninterrupted nights sleep like I do. Just wait, you two, the teen years are coming and then I will go yell at you two centimeters from your face "GET UP!!! MY TV TIME!!" But, until then I will probably have many more people realize that my face is just "tired."
2. "You look great, for just having a baby!"
Is there a "just had a baby" category, or can I just look great otherwise? Admittedly, this really doesn't bother me much as I have been working very hard to make so positive physical changes in myself since the birth of our daughter. But, I still want to feel like I look great whether I just had a baby or not. However, this totally beats the time the nurse at my doctor's appointment asked me how many months post-partum I was, to which I simply answered "23." For many new moms, this is a great compliment, just leave out the "just had a baby" bit. Because, truth is all mothers of all shapes and sizes look great as moms. A mom body is something to embrace in itself. I mean, moms, you just grew a child and either pushed he/she out of your unmentionable area or had a major operation to have the baby, cut yourself some slack. You all look great!
3. "He/She is so cute, looks just like his/her dad!"
My kids are lucky. Their father is one good lookin' man. He also seems to have genes much stronger than mine, because our son especially, is a mini daddy. He looks identical to his dad (minus the most beautiful blue eyes thanks to his mommy, the teen girls in about 10 years will be thanking me). Our daughter is gorgeous (ok, all babies are, and I'm biased) and she looks like her brother. Just look at her big, blue doe eyes and wide smile though, that;s where you see her mama! The nasty crying face and messing her pants face is totally her dad though. I must admit though, I can't help but think that all those little old ladies at church who happily shared this compliment with us were secretly hinting at how strapping their daddy is. I'll just refer to him as the Cougar Catcher.
4. "You're house is so clean for having two babies!"
My house is just clean. Truthfully, the majority of mother's have very clean homes in terms of disinfecting, vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, etc. These are things I do multiple times a week because when you have small people who like to put things in their mouths, spill things, puke on things, put things in the toilet, the list goes on and on. So, clean it definitely is to ensure safety of our children. Does it usually look like Toys R Us exploded in our house? Every single day. If you catch us off guard there will be mess. But, the mess is because we have a wild little boy who loves to play. I promise, the clean is there underneath the newly disinfected toys.
5. "It smells really good in here! I can't even tell you have kids in diapers!"
Ok, so I actually really appreciate this compliment. It lets me know that our house doesn't smell like shit (literally). With a toddler on potty refusal and a baby, some days we are literally up to our necks in poop diapers. Especially if corn has been served anytime in the past month. It is good to know that my home is not reflecting the smell because I do try to purify our air with various essential oils often and I'm completely addicted to Scentsy products. But, just know it does suffice to just say "it smells good in here!" I would even accept "Wow! Your house doesn't smell like shit!" Because there have been days where I wonder given the amount of diapers changed that day. My children are small, but they stink like grown men some days.
Bottom line, if someone offers one of these phrases above, just take it as a good thing. In reality, they are meaning well. Few people are out to make mothers feel bad about themselves maliciously. Most people want you to feel loved and to feel normal even though life with children is sometimes very far from normal. But, after receiving each of these at least twice from well-meaning people, I just have to chuckle in spite of myself. Because it's funny. It's real, it's genuine, and its funny. the non-compliment compliments, if taken lightly, are always good for a few laughs when you need them most.
1. "You look so tired!"
Thank you, grocery store patron. I'm not sure if the uncombed hair or the recycled eye makeup from last night gave it away, but yes, I am tired. So much so that I left the house with two different shoes on the other day. And not two that look similar; one gold sequin sparkles and one dark brown shoe. I have a toddler and a baby who, though usually good kiddos, are busy and don't appreciate naps or a full, uninterrupted nights sleep like I do. Just wait, you two, the teen years are coming and then I will go yell at you two centimeters from your face "GET UP!!! MY TV TIME!!" But, until then I will probably have many more people realize that my face is just "tired."
2. "You look great, for just having a baby!"
Is there a "just had a baby" category, or can I just look great otherwise? Admittedly, this really doesn't bother me much as I have been working very hard to make so positive physical changes in myself since the birth of our daughter. But, I still want to feel like I look great whether I just had a baby or not. However, this totally beats the time the nurse at my doctor's appointment asked me how many months post-partum I was, to which I simply answered "23." For many new moms, this is a great compliment, just leave out the "just had a baby" bit. Because, truth is all mothers of all shapes and sizes look great as moms. A mom body is something to embrace in itself. I mean, moms, you just grew a child and either pushed he/she out of your unmentionable area or had a major operation to have the baby, cut yourself some slack. You all look great!
3. "He/She is so cute, looks just like his/her dad!"
My kids are lucky. Their father is one good lookin' man. He also seems to have genes much stronger than mine, because our son especially, is a mini daddy. He looks identical to his dad (minus the most beautiful blue eyes thanks to his mommy, the teen girls in about 10 years will be thanking me). Our daughter is gorgeous (ok, all babies are, and I'm biased) and she looks like her brother. Just look at her big, blue doe eyes and wide smile though, that;s where you see her mama! The nasty crying face and messing her pants face is totally her dad though. I must admit though, I can't help but think that all those little old ladies at church who happily shared this compliment with us were secretly hinting at how strapping their daddy is. I'll just refer to him as the Cougar Catcher.
4. "You're house is so clean for having two babies!"
My house is just clean. Truthfully, the majority of mother's have very clean homes in terms of disinfecting, vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, etc. These are things I do multiple times a week because when you have small people who like to put things in their mouths, spill things, puke on things, put things in the toilet, the list goes on and on. So, clean it definitely is to ensure safety of our children. Does it usually look like Toys R Us exploded in our house? Every single day. If you catch us off guard there will be mess. But, the mess is because we have a wild little boy who loves to play. I promise, the clean is there underneath the newly disinfected toys.
5. "It smells really good in here! I can't even tell you have kids in diapers!"
Ok, so I actually really appreciate this compliment. It lets me know that our house doesn't smell like shit (literally). With a toddler on potty refusal and a baby, some days we are literally up to our necks in poop diapers. Especially if corn has been served anytime in the past month. It is good to know that my home is not reflecting the smell because I do try to purify our air with various essential oils often and I'm completely addicted to Scentsy products. But, just know it does suffice to just say "it smells good in here!" I would even accept "Wow! Your house doesn't smell like shit!" Because there have been days where I wonder given the amount of diapers changed that day. My children are small, but they stink like grown men some days.
Bottom line, if someone offers one of these phrases above, just take it as a good thing. In reality, they are meaning well. Few people are out to make mothers feel bad about themselves maliciously. Most people want you to feel loved and to feel normal even though life with children is sometimes very far from normal. But, after receiving each of these at least twice from well-meaning people, I just have to chuckle in spite of myself. Because it's funny. It's real, it's genuine, and its funny. the non-compliment compliments, if taken lightly, are always good for a few laughs when you need them most.
Thursday, September 8, 2016
When Toddlers Drop the "F" Bomb...In Church.
It happened. My (nearly) three year old son has learned his first dirty word. He enjoys using his "sentence enhancer" on a regular basis to which we always tell him "that's just a lawnmower, buddy! Stop using the dirty word." I thought it was bad when he said it in front of my mother-in-law. But, you know what's worse than that? When he says it in Church.
Our family attends Catholic mass once a week at our local church. Our son is far from an angel in church. So much so that we head straight to the cry room and don't even attempt sitting in a pew. He does pretty well there. So, for those tuning in who are unfamiliar with a Catholic church, let me give you a basic lay out of what we see every Sunday at 10:30 A.M. We immediately enter the cry room as quickly as possible and through the glass window we have a clear view of the altar, the priest, and the Crucifix that hangs from the ceiling. Every service, I try to teach our son at least a little bit about Jesus and what we are learning about that Sunday, in between telling him to stop running, sit down, stop yelling, get up off the floor, and keep his shoes on. He has the basic concept about Jesus down for his age level which is great! What is NOT so great is that the past two Sundays we have walked in, sat down, and he proudly announces "look mommy! It's %*#&*#&$ Jesus!!" No. no no no no. In the words of famous rapper Eminem, "He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?!" Yea, he did. Loud and clear for the entire room to hear!
I was at a loss for words. My toddler just dropped the "F" bomb while talking about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. My sweet, little, blue-eyed, blonde boy in his cute little red polo and blue plaid shorts just said the dirtiest of dirty words in a place where it's pretty frowned upon to say those things. I'm blaming his dad....mostly... So what should I do?! I have a split second to correct this behavior. He clearly doesn't feel that there is a problem, he was just really, really, really excited to see Jesus that day! So, I did what any clever mother would do, I responded with "yes son, Jesus loved foxes too, just like you do!"
He doesn't even know what a fox looks like. But, I saved us both a little embarrassment that day and everyone thought it was just so sweet that this cute little boy was thanking God for the foxes. But I know what he said. I know he was just THAT excited to see Jesus. I don't want to smash this wonderful enthusiasm. So, for now, he knows that Jesus loves him and Jesus really loves foxes too.
Our family attends Catholic mass once a week at our local church. Our son is far from an angel in church. So much so that we head straight to the cry room and don't even attempt sitting in a pew. He does pretty well there. So, for those tuning in who are unfamiliar with a Catholic church, let me give you a basic lay out of what we see every Sunday at 10:30 A.M. We immediately enter the cry room as quickly as possible and through the glass window we have a clear view of the altar, the priest, and the Crucifix that hangs from the ceiling. Every service, I try to teach our son at least a little bit about Jesus and what we are learning about that Sunday, in between telling him to stop running, sit down, stop yelling, get up off the floor, and keep his shoes on. He has the basic concept about Jesus down for his age level which is great! What is NOT so great is that the past two Sundays we have walked in, sat down, and he proudly announces "look mommy! It's %*#&*#&$ Jesus!!" No. no no no no. In the words of famous rapper Eminem, "He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?!" Yea, he did. Loud and clear for the entire room to hear!
I was at a loss for words. My toddler just dropped the "F" bomb while talking about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. My sweet, little, blue-eyed, blonde boy in his cute little red polo and blue plaid shorts just said the dirtiest of dirty words in a place where it's pretty frowned upon to say those things. I'm blaming his dad....mostly... So what should I do?! I have a split second to correct this behavior. He clearly doesn't feel that there is a problem, he was just really, really, really excited to see Jesus that day! So, I did what any clever mother would do, I responded with "yes son, Jesus loved foxes too, just like you do!"
He doesn't even know what a fox looks like. But, I saved us both a little embarrassment that day and everyone thought it was just so sweet that this cute little boy was thanking God for the foxes. But I know what he said. I know he was just THAT excited to see Jesus. I don't want to smash this wonderful enthusiasm. So, for now, he knows that Jesus loves him and Jesus really loves foxes too.
Tuesday, September 6, 2016
TV? What's That?
The other night my husband had a late night at work, and I was pretty excited. That meant that I was going to have the TV exclusively to myself! For the record, I'm definitely not a screen-time limiter (gasp!). My son rules the TV until 5 P.M. when either my husband or myself declares it to be "mommy and daddy TV time." I'm not sure why we even add the word "mommy" because let's be honest, it's daddy TV time. Which doesn't bother me. After a long day of dealing with the millennials entering the armed forces my husband deserves some time to unwind and relax. So, unlike many wives and moms, I was totally embracing his absence for the evening for one reason (and no, its not because we are used to being apart, although more on those days later) the fact that I was going to have complete reign of the TV for an ENTIRE night was so lucrative!
The clock finally struck 7 o'clock and my son's bedtime routine was in full force. We sat in the chair, and, being the philanthropic person that I am, I decided to let him watch his favorite movie, "Home" while we rocked for bed. He fell asleep and I laid him down in bed per usual. The baby was sleeping so soundly in her swing (by the way, I LOVE our swing, hmm...that gives me an idea for another time). This was it! The time had come! It was truly and fully mommy TV time.
Then my brain froze. Over 400 channels and I had no idea what I liked to watch. What shows do I like? What channels besides DisneyJr, NickJr, and Fox News do we even have? During the day, unless the PAW Patrol rescues it, Toodles brings it a tool, or The PJ Masks save it I have no idea what anything is. As for the evening, well, our daughter was almost birthed to Watter's World on the Fox News Network. So you see the kinds of shows popular in our home. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the lessons my son learns while watching educational preschool TV, and I do like staying up to date with the various news shows my husband watches, but damn it sometimes I just want to watch someone try on a bridal gown, look for a fancy house in a foreign country, or a juicy Lifetime sexual tension induced murder mystery.
As I surfed through our channels I was just lost. It doesn't help that we've lived in Germany for the past three years prior to moving to our current location so I honestly have no idea what stuff is on TV these days. I settled on a show about people who move into buildings the size of an outhouse and can only get dressed by crawling or laying down; HGTV told me this is referred to as "tiny house living." After about three episodes of mini homes, I decided to turn my attention to my old friend who has yet to fail me in my viewing pleasure, Netflix. Whatever "Netflix and Chill" means to teens these days (I know what it means, I do have two children afterall) to me it just meant sit there and chill and zombie myself into the boob tube for....exactly two minutes before the baby woke up to eat. Good thing good ol' Netflix offers a pause button!
So, gone are my days of binge watching shows (because I do not consider the 6 hour PAW Patrol marathon that happened earlier as binge watching....). But that's ok, because you know what happens now? I don't take for granted those times when I DO get a little bit of time watching things only I like. I look forward to something as simple as using the remote for my own viewing pleasure. So I always start at channel number 289 because that's DisneyJr and that's the only one I have memorized.
The clock finally struck 7 o'clock and my son's bedtime routine was in full force. We sat in the chair, and, being the philanthropic person that I am, I decided to let him watch his favorite movie, "Home" while we rocked for bed. He fell asleep and I laid him down in bed per usual. The baby was sleeping so soundly in her swing (by the way, I LOVE our swing, hmm...that gives me an idea for another time). This was it! The time had come! It was truly and fully mommy TV time.
Then my brain froze. Over 400 channels and I had no idea what I liked to watch. What shows do I like? What channels besides DisneyJr, NickJr, and Fox News do we even have? During the day, unless the PAW Patrol rescues it, Toodles brings it a tool, or The PJ Masks save it I have no idea what anything is. As for the evening, well, our daughter was almost birthed to Watter's World on the Fox News Network. So you see the kinds of shows popular in our home. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the lessons my son learns while watching educational preschool TV, and I do like staying up to date with the various news shows my husband watches, but damn it sometimes I just want to watch someone try on a bridal gown, look for a fancy house in a foreign country, or a juicy Lifetime sexual tension induced murder mystery.
As I surfed through our channels I was just lost. It doesn't help that we've lived in Germany for the past three years prior to moving to our current location so I honestly have no idea what stuff is on TV these days. I settled on a show about people who move into buildings the size of an outhouse and can only get dressed by crawling or laying down; HGTV told me this is referred to as "tiny house living." After about three episodes of mini homes, I decided to turn my attention to my old friend who has yet to fail me in my viewing pleasure, Netflix. Whatever "Netflix and Chill" means to teens these days (I know what it means, I do have two children afterall) to me it just meant sit there and chill and zombie myself into the boob tube for....exactly two minutes before the baby woke up to eat. Good thing good ol' Netflix offers a pause button!
So, gone are my days of binge watching shows (because I do not consider the 6 hour PAW Patrol marathon that happened earlier as binge watching....). But that's ok, because you know what happens now? I don't take for granted those times when I DO get a little bit of time watching things only I like. I look forward to something as simple as using the remote for my own viewing pleasure. So I always start at channel number 289 because that's DisneyJr and that's the only one I have memorized.
Sunday, September 4, 2016
There's "P" on my Foot, and Other Thoughts Mom's have in the Shower
Having children changes everything in life. Some things we can easily prepare ourselves for like the early mornings and diaper changes, but some things you don't even realize will change. Like showering. The ability to take long, hot, showers on a whim anytime of the day disappears for most moms. Not only does the physical aspect change, but so do the thoughts that come and go while in the shower. Gone are the days when I had philosophical thoughts and solutions for many of life's greatest problems while in the shower. Now, I have thoughts that are less deep and much more practical, and guess what? I know I am not the only one who thinks about these things. Whether it is an evening or weekend shower when daddy is home to occupy the small people during that time, or the famous "Mom Super Shower" in which I do everything at warp speed to finish showering, dressing, hair, and makeup during the 30 minutes of zombie toddler provided by PAW Patrol I think about mostly the same things. Here they are.
1. There's P on my foot
When I shower in the morning or after going to the gym, it usually happens while my small people are awake. On a good day I coordinate this time with the airing of PAW Patrol (thanks, NickJr for that wonderful cinematic masterpiece). This also means I sacrifice showering in our master bathroom adult-only shower and jump into the shower/tub combo in our other bathroom. This tub is reserved for our son's bath, and like any toddler he has a multitude of bath toys. I only have 30 min. to get the whole routine finished, so if there is a bath toy letter in tub from the previous evening's tub time, it's just going to have to stay there. I can't tell you how many times I have looked down to find "P" stuck to my foot.
2. Showering so quickly has to decrease our water bill
As if thinking about bills isn't constant enough, I even think about them in the shower these days. Mostly out of pride. With as quickly as I shower while the small people are awake, I can't help but pat myself on the back for the money I am saving us on water usage. So, really that's a big wine....I mean win. The more money I don't spend on the water bill means a larger wine budget, right?
3. Did my child just cry/vomit/choke/scream
The phantom sounds. I swear every shower I can hear a child crying, puking, or screaming. It's almost always false except for a few tears here and there. It's easy with our baby, she mostly just swings away while I take my super fast shower, however, the toddler is another story. Typically he happily watches PAW Patrol while I lather and rinse, but there are also times he does everything but what he is supposed to do. A huge thanks to the inventor of baby proofing equipment.
4. How important is it that I shave today?
We've all been there. It's summer in Missouri which means its HOT. With heat comes shorts, dresses, skirts, and capris. The negative side effect is that I have to shave my legs at least periodically to be socially acceptable in public. Almost every shower I ask myself if my leg hair is THAT noticeable and nearly every time I conclude that I can go "one more day."
5. WTF?!
You know that moment. When you're in the middle of washing your hair and suddenly the water becomes scolding hot and you are just SURE that your skin is going to burn off your body. Then, you look out the shower curtain through the blue smiling octopus to discover that your toddler is lovingly flushing the toilet. Repeatedly. And laughing at your pain each time. There are no words for these moments, just know you are not alone!
Mom showers are fast, cluttered with bath toys, and usually bare minimum. Wash the hair, wash the body and face, and sometimes brush your teeth if you are really in a time crunch. Sometimes I even condition! Sometimes I wash my hair in cold water as recommended by my stylist because it is better for my hair. And sometimes I can get really wild and crazy and shave my legs. Most days, as long as my hair, pits, feet, and butt are washed I am a thankful and happy person. But really. Sometimes you just need a few minutes of along time among the chaos that is every day life with small children. The shower provides that for me. It literally drowns out the chaos for just about 5 min., and in those 5 min I can regenerate and be ready to keep on going with the little people. Plus, also I don't smell like a foot so you're welcome.
1. There's P on my foot
When I shower in the morning or after going to the gym, it usually happens while my small people are awake. On a good day I coordinate this time with the airing of PAW Patrol (thanks, NickJr for that wonderful cinematic masterpiece). This also means I sacrifice showering in our master bathroom adult-only shower and jump into the shower/tub combo in our other bathroom. This tub is reserved for our son's bath, and like any toddler he has a multitude of bath toys. I only have 30 min. to get the whole routine finished, so if there is a bath toy letter in tub from the previous evening's tub time, it's just going to have to stay there. I can't tell you how many times I have looked down to find "P" stuck to my foot.
2. Showering so quickly has to decrease our water bill
As if thinking about bills isn't constant enough, I even think about them in the shower these days. Mostly out of pride. With as quickly as I shower while the small people are awake, I can't help but pat myself on the back for the money I am saving us on water usage. So, really that's a big wine....I mean win. The more money I don't spend on the water bill means a larger wine budget, right?
3. Did my child just cry/vomit/choke/scream
The phantom sounds. I swear every shower I can hear a child crying, puking, or screaming. It's almost always false except for a few tears here and there. It's easy with our baby, she mostly just swings away while I take my super fast shower, however, the toddler is another story. Typically he happily watches PAW Patrol while I lather and rinse, but there are also times he does everything but what he is supposed to do. A huge thanks to the inventor of baby proofing equipment.
4. How important is it that I shave today?
We've all been there. It's summer in Missouri which means its HOT. With heat comes shorts, dresses, skirts, and capris. The negative side effect is that I have to shave my legs at least periodically to be socially acceptable in public. Almost every shower I ask myself if my leg hair is THAT noticeable and nearly every time I conclude that I can go "one more day."
5. WTF?!
You know that moment. When you're in the middle of washing your hair and suddenly the water becomes scolding hot and you are just SURE that your skin is going to burn off your body. Then, you look out the shower curtain through the blue smiling octopus to discover that your toddler is lovingly flushing the toilet. Repeatedly. And laughing at your pain each time. There are no words for these moments, just know you are not alone!
Mom showers are fast, cluttered with bath toys, and usually bare minimum. Wash the hair, wash the body and face, and sometimes brush your teeth if you are really in a time crunch. Sometimes I even condition! Sometimes I wash my hair in cold water as recommended by my stylist because it is better for my hair. And sometimes I can get really wild and crazy and shave my legs. Most days, as long as my hair, pits, feet, and butt are washed I am a thankful and happy person. But really. Sometimes you just need a few minutes of along time among the chaos that is every day life with small children. The shower provides that for me. It literally drowns out the chaos for just about 5 min., and in those 5 min I can regenerate and be ready to keep on going with the little people. Plus, also I don't smell like a foot so you're welcome.
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